Miller called me into his office on Wednesday.

"Charles Woodrow from The Colt Sentinel has requested to run your series in his local paper. We have a set price for requests like this and you'll receive compensation too. I wanted to let you know before you left for the championship."

Charlie. And probably Stub. I felt bad they had to pay for my work, but also thrilled it would run in Colt. I'd promised Estella a copy of the articles and now she would have them through the local paper. I left Miller's office and went by the second floor to see if Kathy was ready for lunch. I alternated lunch between Kathy's click and Trett and JJ. I no longer buried my face in a book during my breaks. Every now and then shyness pushed its ugly head up, but I shook it off and each day became easier. Sad that I was twenty-three before I was able to do it.

My plane flew out on Friday morning. I took a cab to the hotel, ordered room service, and took a nap after I ate. I had notes and recordings to go through for a charity event taking place the following week and could do them after I woke up. Nights were the hardest time for me and I had trouble sleeping. After the championship match, I would attempt a regular sleeping schedule, but right now thoughts of seeing Joel in person were keeping me awake.

An hour later, I gave up the nap idea. I had a particularly boring file playing on my recorder when someone knocked at my hotel room door. I looked out the peephole and Van stood there. What the hell? I wasn't sure I could handle Van, but I knew I needed to face him. New Cami didn't run from her problems.

He was lifting his hand to knock again when I opened the door. His bad-boy grin flashed. "I didn't think you would answer."

He looked so good because he looked so much like Joel. Added to the effect was his tight t-shirt and mussed hair. But no scar for me to tenderly run my fingers over. I crumpled.

"Come here, baby." His arms circled me. They weren't the arms I needed, but it felt so good to have someone holding me up.

My tears soaked his t-shirt. "I'm sorry. I feel so stupid," I blubbered into his chest.

He walked me backward until he could shut the door while keeping his arms around me. "Shh, don't apologize."

I finally managed to move back a few feet and wipe my eyes in embarrassment. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to take you to dinner, but saw the tray outside your door and figured I'm too late. Doesn't matter as long as you don't mind me ordering something to the room."

I shook my head. "Van, this won't work. I don't know how you got my location or my room number, but you need to leave."

Instead of leaving he took a step closer. "I want to try an experiment and need your cooperation. You game?"

He was out of his mind. "You're crazy. What kind of experiment?"

"This." I was back in his arms with his lips on mine before I knew how it happened. Van's kiss was everything I rememberedpossessive, passionate, and exciting. It was all wrong. I didn't fight him off, but I didn't respond either. He lifted his mouth and looked down at me with a small grin. "That proves it," he whispered against my lips. "You and I are good friend material. I've never had a girl as a friend and I'll probably be really bad at it. You'll catch me staring at your tits and making inappropriate sexual comments, but if you slap me enough times I may come around." He placed one last, small kiss on my forehead and released me.

"You're serious?"

"As serious as winning the championship tomorrow."

Things were changing so fast my head was spinning. "What brought this on?" I asked suspiciously.

"My brother's in love with you. I'm not. Don't get me wrong. I like you and your amazing tits." That had me laughing. "I'm not ready to settle down and stop playing the field, so the two of us won't work. It may be hard for you to get over me." Now he gave his fuck-me smile. "I get that, but my brother's the one for you."

"You goof. I don't see your brother looking twice at me again." Just the thought of Joel had my chest aching again.

"We'll fix that. He's not happy with either of us at the moment, but I've been pressing his buttons every chance I get. He's stubborn, but with a little push, I'll get his head straight. Now, seriously, I need food." He walked over and sat on my bed while picking up the phone and placing an order with room service. After putting the phone down, he kicked back against my pillow.

I gave him my mean look, but it didn't deter him. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I pulled a chair over and plopped down. "I want a play-by-play of last week's game. It sucked watching it on my computer."

We talked rugby until the food arrived. Van could put away as much food as Joel. I fought asking anything about his brother, but questioned him about the other playersMike, Elf, and the rest.

He told me what was happening in their immediate rugby world, but saw straight through my smoke screen. "You gonna ask about Joel?"

"No." I wouldn't. I didn't know if I could handle it without crying again.

"He's miserable. Haven't seen my brother like this since our Mom died. He's always been the introspective one. He doesn't show his emotions like me. He blames himself about the accident and never let it go." Van ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up even further. The unconscious action reminded me so much of Joel.

"Why would he blame himself?"

His blue eyes considered me for a moment before he responded. "He was driving. Christ." There was so much pain in his voice.

"What happened?" I asked softly.

Van's forearm covered his eyes and I knew this wasn't easy for him. "A man ran a stoplight and t-boned my mom's car. He was texting on a fucking cell phone. He had a wife and kids waiting at home for him and ruined all our lives so he could let his wife know he was on his way. It was hard not to push for prosecution, but Joel wouldn't let me. We were both underage and our lives in chaos. The steering wheel crushed the left side of Joel's face. He had multiple surgeries. Even as pathetic as it sounds, I was so angry with him. I know it's stupid, but I kept thinking if I were driving I could have avoided what happened. Joel had an entire year more driving experience than me, but that's where my crazy thoughts took me. Damn, I said that aloud." He lifted his arm and turned his head to me. "Don't cry."

I was a basket case. You would think with all my tears since I'd left Joel, there would be nothing left. I was wrong. Van's story was breaking my heart all over again. I'd never asked Joel about his scar. I figured he would tell me when he was ready. Van pulled me onto the bed and back into his arms.

"Friends don't do this," I mumbled against his chest again.

"Sure they do. I was cuddling with Elf while he cried just last night."

Laughter mixed with my tears.

"You might not want to do that with your tits against my chest. If I get a hard-on it's only because they're tits, and well- I'm a man."

I groaned in frustration because Van would never change. I had to finally ask the question that burned in my brain for weeks. "Van- why me? Why was I sent to cover The Slam?"

He remained unnaturally quiet.

"It's bad isn't it?"

"Yeah, baby, it's bad."

"I'm a big girl- woman- not a baby. And that word needs to stop."

A small burst of laughter came from Van. "I'm coming to terms with too many things tonightgirl that's a friend, I can't touch your tits, and I'm spilling my guts like a pussy. You're asking a lot."

"You're changing the subject."

"It was a stupid bet with my dad. I jokingly requested a female reporter when he mentioned he had a contact that might be able to gain us some media coverage. He said he would be sure to send a female, but one I couldn't seduce." He rolled so he faced me. "I said if she was between the ages of eighteen and sixty I'd take the bet and prove him wrong. I spoke to my dad last week and according to him you were supposed to be married and pregnant. What's up with that?"

It all clicked into place. I didn't know if I should be furious or laugh hysterically. "I hate to ask how much my virginity was worth."

"Fuck." Van jumped out of bed so fast you'd think it caught fire. The look on his face was priceless.

I couldn't stop my laughter from exploding into the room. "Your face-" I rolled and grabbed a pillow, placing it against my stomach. "You are such a dirt bag." I laughed some more.

"Ha ha, funny." He sat down next to me, grabbed the pillow, and threw it at my head. "You were worth a quarter."

I stopped laughing. "I'll kill you."

"Well that might happen anyway, but I'll never tell you how much the bet was for. I'll admit to being shocked at what you hid under those hideous clothes. I may let my dad pick women for me on a continual basis." He lay back beside me and took my hand. A while later, Van ordered me dessert, but ended up eating it himself after I poked it with my fork a few times.

"I owe you an apology," he said after finishing the chocolate cake.

Oh this should be good. "What did you do now?"

"For the night at the house. I purposely made sure you were drunk."

"We don't need to talk about this." It was actually the last thing I wanted to hear about.

"I'm sorry." It was a sincere apology.

I gave a long sigh. "I wasn't that drunk. Now, can we move past bets and apologies and never speak of this again?"

The bad-boy grin came back. "I'd probably play better tomorrow if you gave me a pity fuck." I threw my napkin at him. "You can't fault me for trying," he said with a laugh.

This side of Van was so different from what I'd seen before. Still a player and total bad boy, but there was something sweet about him too. I didn't need to question him about defending me in the bar. I had my answer. It made me sad that I wouldn't be around when that special woman came along and took him to his knees.

We talked about trivial things, just enjoying each other's company until almost eleven. He was staying with the team a block away and walked to my hotel to see me. He took off after making me promise I would be at the after-game celebration. Like Joel, there was no room in Van's thinking for defeat. The Slam was winning this match and I believed him. He hugged me goodbye.

It sucked that I would miss him and not just his brother. I fell asleep thinking about Joel's lips with the slightly puckered corner. God I missed him.