[Author's note: Although this was not his original name, to avoid confusion Simon will still be referred to as Simon for simplicity sake.]

Page twelve:

A really terrible event occurred in the Palace.

One of the other concubine gave birth to a girl. At first, everyone was really happy to welcome the first princess to the Sanki Kingdom. However, when the King learned she had a daughter, he grew so furious he stomped over to her bedchamber.

Then he actually slaughtered the concubine along with the new daughter!

I was speechless when Gilyn told me this. I did not want to believe him at first. Why would the King do such a thing to his own child?

Gilyn said it was because the King only wanted sons. To the King, having a daughter was a sign of weakness. I asked the other maids and servants and they shared with me the same story. I could no longer deny the truth. Gilyn was telling the truth. The King actually conducted such a cruel act against his own flesh and blood.

Is the King really a good father?

If he was, then how could he kill the concubine along with his newborn daughter!? It is too terrible…

For the first time, I truly fear the King and what he might do. I really hope my first son is still safe.

___________

Page Thirteen:

Today I learned that I was pregnant again. This will be my second child. I thought I would be happy to learn this news. The King was sure to shower me with attention and love just like before. Surely I would receive the same attention as the concubines had when they were pregnant.

However, instead of feeling excited for having this child, I feel a bit anxious. After the concubine and her daughter were killed, I am extremely worried about the gender of my future child. What if it turns out to be a girl?

Gilyn tried to reassure me, but I can see the worry on his face as well.

Having a child is supposed to be a joyous thing. So why does everyone in this Palace get so worried once they learn about it? Even my maids show the worry on their face. They worry they may also be dragged down if I end up having a girl.

Since the King gets irritated seeing worried expressions, I tried my best to smile whenever he visited me. I made sure to eat all the food he gave me for the health of the baby. Anything he said to do, I would do with no questions asked.

I just hope that the King does not get angry with me.

__________

Page Fourteen:

I gave birth to my second child.

Just like everyone feared, it was a girl. She was so beautiful. She looked just like me.

However, I did not have much time with her.

The King discovered that it was a girl and took her from me. I could only watch as he placed his hand over her…

I tried to stop him.

I tried to fight him off.

In the end, I was no match for him.

He hit me many times until I cowered in a ball. Then he just left me to myself.

The servants said that I was lucky the King did not kill me as well. They said it could have been much worse. I could have been killed just like the unlucky concubine. However, I do not feel very lucky.

I do not feel like writing much anymore.

___________

Page Fifteen:

The King still forces me into marital duties despite having several concubines. I feel so strange whenever the King visits me now. Just one look at his face makes my insides feel like a snake is coiling and tightening along my stomach. I do not like it and I do not like seeing him either.

Luckily, the King does not stay for long.

Gilyn has been trying to cheer me up lately. He brings me more of the books that I like to read. Unlike the other servants, he does not seem to make strange faces at me. However, even these books do not fill me with happiness as they once had.

Whenever I read them, I feel uneasy and bitter. The relationships in the books are always so wonderful. There is always a man who dotes on his woman and will do anything for her. Yet, the King will barely even make time to see me other than to perform our duties.

I wanted a relationship just like the ones in these books.

Now I see just what an impossible dream that really is. These relationships are not real. True relationships are far more unhappy and troublesome.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the Church. Even if it was more boring, at least I did not know the painful truth of the world.

Gilyn told me that a concubine gave birth to a boy while another concubine is pregnant as well.

I do not really care that much anymore.

_________

Page Sixteen:

In the past two years, not only did the concubine give birth to a boy, but I did as well. My son is sixth in line for the throne. The King came back to check if it was a boy or a girl and was pleased to discover I gave birth to a boy.

I named him Simon.

After that, the King has not visited me at all for our marital duties. A few times a year the King will check up on Simon and me. Each time I am panicked that the King will take my son away from me. However, he never would. I am starting to think that maybe the King is letting Simon stay with me as a reward.

The time I have with Simon is truly a gift. My little Simon is such a happy child. He is always smiling and laughing. He never wants to leave my side either. He barely cries, but always wants to be held and hugged.

I am just so happy whenever I see my little Simon. I wonder if this is what unconditional love means?

Even Gilyn seems to be in a better mood. Little Simon thinks of him as a father. It is so silly. Of course, we cannot let Simon think that or say that since it will surely make the King angry enough to kill.

Yet, when we are alone it truly does feel like we are a family.

Maybe being stuck in this awful Palace is not so bad after all?

___________

Page Seventeen:

The King took my Simon away from me!

He was only four years old and the King decided that Simon should be placed in the army. He did not care if Simon was his son and a Prince. If Simon were to die in the army, the King did not care since the current five were more than enough to secure his lineage.

I am extremely worried about my lovable Simon.

How can the King just send my tiny boy to such a horrible place?!

I begged Gilyn to do something. I know he could not do anything to the King, but there had to be something he could do.

Gilyn promised that he would have someone he trusted watch over Simon. He told me not to worry so much. He had confidence that his friend would look over Simon and protect him.

I only hope that Gilyn is right.

Simon... My dear Simon...

You must stay alive.

___________

Page Eighteen:

The King has not visited me at all since he took Simon away from me. He is only interested in his concubines. Or at least the ones that survive.

However, I do not mind as much as I thought I would.

Gilyn keeps me company when I am bored. I do not know what I would do without Gilyn by my side. I think that he is the only one who cares if I live or die. Without him, I probably would have died already.

I only wish that I could have my little Simon beside me. He was always the happiest boy. Always smiling and laughing…

I really hope he is still safe.

Gilyn says the King and Queen from the Imperial Kingdom are coming to visit to discuss negotiations over a trade deal. He said that I must play the part of the Queen by the King's side and host the party for them as is tradition.

I have never had an opportunity to see the rest of the Palace. Gilyn says he will help me, but I am worried I may mess up at the party. I have never been a host before. Hopefully the King of the Imperial Kingdom will be nicer than the Sanki King.

____________

Page Nineteen:

The Imperial King and Queen gifted me a beautiful bird as a token of gratitude.

I used to think I was so lucky to be pulled out of that small dark room. However, thanks to this colorful bird, I now realized that I merely was taken out of a cage to be placed in a slightly bigger one.

If I would have known my life would turn out like this, I would rather just stay in that small dark room.

Naïve and clueless as to the truth of this world.