(Disclaimer: This chapter contains mild suicidal themes that may be disturbing to some readers.)

After that incident, I woke up as the 5 year old Seri.

Now it seems as though history is repeating itself.

I opened my eyes and stared at the sky. My cheeks were damp from my own tears.

How could I forget my own death? How could I forget those last few days, suffering in agony?

No... I didn't forget. I forced myself to block it out of my memory.

It was too painful to remember.

Even now I can remember the feeling of starving with sharp pains that made my stomach twist in torment.

The pain of my throat dry as a bone. Sticky and coarse. All while I was unable to even swallow.

The pain of my legs, broken beyond repair. My shattered bones that ached with a mind numbing pain.

The burning of my skin as the sun blared down upon me without mercy.

But that pain didn't hurt as bad as the pain I endured from being betrayed...

The pain of knowing that the entire time I acted so foolish thinking I actually had someone care about me...

The pain of realizing I was always alone...

That's what killed me most of all...

"I don't understand..." I gasped with tears rolling down my cheek, "What did I do to deserve that?"

I wasn't a good girl. Sure. But... Was I really such a bad person that I deserved such a pitiful life?

What did I do to deserve being born to that mother of mine?

What did I do to deserve my brother's death?

What did I do to die in such a way?

My only sin was...

... Being born.

"But seriously?!" I shouted at the sky, "Why did you have to kill me like that?! If I was going to transport into an Isekai novel, shouldn't I have been hit by a car? Or fallen asleep while reading an online novel?! That's the usual trope! F*CK! If you were going to have me murdered, couldn't I have just been stabbed to death?! Why did you make me die from DEHYDRATION?!"

I huffed in anger as the tears continued to roll down my cheek and fall onto the leaves underneath me. After a while, my anger subsided. I stared up at the moon in the sky that seemed to be mocking me.

"What a pointless life, huh?" I let out an empty chuckle.

From my birth to my death, it was all meaningless.

The only point to that life was to suffer.

Gain a ray of hope in my life... Then lose it again... Then suffer even more.

Wasn't it supposed to get better? Why did it only get worse?

How did I even make it to age 26?

"Wish..." I mumbled aloud to myself.

That's right. I was always making childish wishes.

In the beginning, I wished that I could get rich and escape...

Then my brother was born. I wished for nothing more than to protect him. To give him the best life possible.

Then fate cruelly took him away from me.

Then I only wished to get my baby brother back. To hold him in my arms.

But even he denied me. He crushed the little bit of hope I had left.

Then I wished to die.

That was, until that idiot bookstore owner convinced me otherwise. Then I went back to wishing for riches and success.

But when I got it... I only felt empty.

I indulged in everything I could.

Praise. Food. Friends. Novels. Dramas. Alcohol.

Anything to fill that empty void. But in the end...

I was still empty.

It was only in that last moment, right before I died, did I realize my true wish all along...

I wish...

I wish....

....

What did I wish for?

What was that final wish of mine?

I could feel my lips finishing that sentence in my memory, but I couldn't make out any words.

Was it because I was on the brink of dying?

Or maybe... Deep down... I don't want to remember...

Perhaps I subconsciously know that my last wish could never come true...

Perhaps I wished for true friendship.

Hah. Yeah right.

I never want to experience friendship again if it means betrayal and pain.

Maybe that's why I kept my distance from William, Dante, and Millie.

Although I spoke with them.. And spent time with them daily... I never once tried to get closer to them.

I was too scared of going through that again.

I'm already a cracked mirror. Any more force and I'm sure I will shatter.

Fragile.

That's all I am.

Hah. Maybe I really am like the original Seri.

I let out a self deprecated laugh, "Well Seri, I guess we really are the same. We are both unfortunate people who would have been better off never being born."

Maybe that's why I always hated her character. I saw too much of myself in her. Because of that, I rejected her.

"And now, here I am as Seri. Literally in a pit of despair."

But really? Dying from starvation and dehydration again? I'd rather just go quickly... Perhaps I should look for a sharp rock...

Such a shame I didn't have my knife fetish anymore.

Haaah....

The night grew colder and my body shivered automatically. But I didn't feel cold. I didn't feel anything. I stared up at that moon with empty eyes.

In the distance, I heard a certain tsundere voice. He was shouting for me at the top of his lungs.

But I didn't feel happy in the slightest. I opened my mouth to shout back, but nothing came out. I closed it slowly.

What's the point.

I've lost everything I've ever held dear. What's the point in living like this?

"Seri! Seri!" William shouted as he got closer. His voice wavered, "Please! Please Seri answer me..."

In the pale moonlight, I could see his panicked stricken face as he looked around frantically. He was panting heavily, but couldn't bring himself to stop shouting in hopes he would hear an answer back.

His eyes watered in distress as he searched the landscape. The moonlight reflected off of his tears of desperation.

My heart stirred at that expression.

"Down... Here..." Before I could even realize it, I had responded.

William's eyes shot towards the voice and looked down the edge. When his eyes met mine, a wide smile of relief spread across his face. Two more tears rolled down from his eyes.

"I'm coming!"

I watched him speechlessly as he looked for the best way down and climbed down. The hill was steep, but it wasn't impossible to climb. I was only stuck down here because of my broken ankle.

When he got down, he jumped towards me, wrapping his arms around me. He dug his head into my shoulder as he hugged me.

"Stupid... I was so worried..."

I blinked in response. I could feel him shaking. Slowly, I put my arms around him.

Right now... I should be feeling happy... Grateful... I should be crying tears of joy... That's what a character in my position would be doing...

And yet... I can't shake this feeling of emptiness. My dull eyes kept gazing at the moon coldly.

"Why are you out here?" My empty voice asked.

He sniffled, still refusing to let me go. "I thought it was strange you hadn't tried putting bugs in my bed. Me and Dante waited... Then Millie ran in and told us that Ilene took you somewhere and you hadn't come back yet. So we ran off to find you..."

His voice grew firm, "Don't worry. Ilene will pay for what she did to you."

I let out loud, deranged laughter at this. My voice was full of scorn, "No she won't."

His face fell and he pulled away to look at me. His face revealed his emotions. He was startled by my response. He feared that unfamiliar tone and terrifyingly cold look on my face.

He didn't want to believe that it was still the Seri he knew in front of him. "What do... You mean?"

"She won't pay for what she did." I gave him a cruel smile, "She's rich. The rich and powerful never have to answer for their crimes. No matter where you are. It's always the same. They can kidnap and murder someone in broad daylight, and not have to answer for a single thing."

"Your precious world is no different. It's riddled with pain and suffering. There is no justice in this world or any others..." I leaned forward and whispered with a cruel look in my eyes.

"YOU'RE WRONG!" He shouted back at me, making me flinch. He shook his head, "NO! I WILL BRING HER TO JUSTICE! You aren't just some nobody! She will pay for what she did to you!"

I frowned. "But what if I was some nobody? Don't nobodies deserve justice too?"

He knitted his brows together, "Yes.. But you're not..."

"Oh? Then who am I? Am I really such an important person? Am I really SO important to this world that it couldn't go on without me?"

"Well... You..."

I clicked my tongue, "Exactly. I don't matter in this world. I'm not special."

"YOU ARE TO ME!" He shouted as he clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. I could only look at him coldly.

Oh William... Do you really think I was that dense?

I've always known about that stupid childish crush you had on me. Dante's too. But I ignored it.

Do you know why? It's because I don't want such worthless feelings. What are they good for?

In the end... You'll leave me like everyone else.

I wanted to say these cruel words to him, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. Sure, I was despicable trash... But I could never bring myself to hurt him in such a way.

Perhaps I really am too soft hearted.

"Are you hurt?" He asked after a moment of silence.

I gave a nod, "Broken ankle."

He turned around and put his arms behind his back, "Climb on."

I hesitated for a moment, but eventually climbed on. I wrapped my arms around his neck gently as he picked me up.

"Okay, hold on while I climb up." I grunted weakly in approval and he began to climb up the hill. When we got to the top, he quickened his pace as he carried me piggy back style. I watched the moonlight through the tops of the trees.

After a while, I spoke. "Do you think people will mourn me?"

"Huh?" He asked and glanced back at me.

"I just wonder if people would be sad if I was dead."

I wonder if anyone is crying for me in that other world... I wonder if anyone even noticed me missing...

His grip tightened on my thighs bringing me back to the present.

He whispered, "Of course."

"Hmm." I could only respond calmly.

He continued, "When Millie came to find us, she was crying in a panic. We could barely get her to say anything. When she finally calmed down and told us, we both rushed out to find you."

He gave a low chuckle, "You should see Dante right now... He's running around screaming for you in a panic."

"Screaming?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh yeah. He freaked out so much, he even punched a rock so hard it split in half."

"Yeah right."

"It's true."

I looked down at his back with a complicated expression, "But... Why? Why would you all act like this?"

He gave me a bright smile, "Because we are friends."

"Friends huh..."

"Don't you think so too?"

"Hmm. I'm not sure."

He frowned, "Come on. Just admit it."

"Well..." I buried my head into his back and tightened my grip, "I suppose I don't dislike you all."

He clicked his tongue, "I will accept that for now... But just you wait. One day I will make you admit that we are friends."

"I wonder."

When we arrived back, he sat me down. Millie ran over to me sobbing. She threw her arms around me and nuzzled me lovingly.

"Seri.. Thank the heavens you're alright... I was about to go crazy if you didn't come back..."

Dante appeared after hearing the commotion. His usual calm demeanor was completely gone. His face was twisted in fear. He too rushed over and threw his arms around me. He hugged me tightly, but said nothing.

My hands slowly returned the hug.

Noticing the group hug, William fidgeted for a second. I rolled my eyes and beckoned him over. He joined the hug with a pleased face. Even the teacher who I bullied before smiled at me with a relieved expression.

I took a deep breath, trying to burn this memory into my head.

I rather like this feeling...

I wonder when it will be taken away from me?