Chapter 96

“I see… So we couldn’t save your father…”

“No…but it is nothing for you to be sad about. Father was shielding me…”

When I heard that the bandits that we had desperately killed had murdered Marie Elle’s father, I wondered why we could not have come sooner. We might have made it in time if we rushed through the forest…

“…Asagi, you are regretting that we did not travel faster, are you not?”

“Ah, I am…”

“Are you that much of a stupid bastard? We did not know that there were bandits until we were out of the forest. There is no point in having regrets because of what we only know now. Yes, it is painful that we could not help him. But you must move on. This is not something that we should have to bear.”

Daniela’s words felt like thorns in my flesh. It was true… It really was no use… But, still…

“But, it doesn’t change that this is sad… I can’t help but wish that I had been able to help.”

“Yes… I could have worded that differently. You are not wrong to grieve… We should mourn the dead.”

I nod and quickly stand up. My legs are now firmly planted in the blood-stained dirt. I’m reminded of just how much blood I was soaked in. The beautiful silver and green fabrics were dyed red, the silver armor glistened under the blood. It wasn’t mine, none of it was.

“Daniela.”

“What, Asagi?”

“…I want to bury the bandits as well. Not out of sympathy. But so I can move on from this…to put it completely behind me.”

“…Aye, I understand. Are you fine with that, Marie Elle?”

“Yes… I do hate them… But if it will help Asagi going forward, I would like to do it.”

“Thank you…Marie Elle. I’m so sorry, for being selfish.”

“No, it is fine. You helped me…”

With Marie Elle’s understanding, we decided to bury them. Perhaps there might have been one who didn’t want to become a bandit… I couldn’t help but feel that with one wrong step, I could have gone down a similar path. Oh, with said, I was not sympathizing with them. But as always, I was a hopeless wreck. I shook my head to disperse the conflicting emotions.

“Ah, Daniela…do you need any proof of hunting bandits?”

“Yes…normally it would be their heads.”

“So they can identify them, I suppose…”

“Aye, they would have to confirm that they are wanted…”

In all honesty, I would rather not start cutting off heads. I was already feeling the weight of what I had done, and to have to take their heads on top of it…

“Could it just be the leader’s head?”

“Yes, we could hardly take all of them. But are you sure? I can do it.”

“No. I think that I should do it now, instead of dragging this around with me.”

In fact, I felt quite strongly about this. Would I really be able to move on by just burying them? I asked myself. And the answer was that it would be ‘difficult.’ Burying them didn’t change anything. I needed meaning for what I did. Marie Elle had lived. But not only that…I wanted proof. Something to prove to a third party that what I had done was right

“Which one is the leader?”

“Likely the one that I killed… His equipment is the most decent. And the leader is always the best dressed.”

That was true. On closer inspection, what had likely been fine clothing was now covered in blood after Daniela’s blade had gone through his heart and neck.

I unsheath Ashikirimaru and look at the blade. ‘Ashikiri’ meant to ‘cut legs’, but its first use would be to take off someone’s head…

“Marie Elle. You should move away.”

“Yes…”

Daniela led Marie Elle behind the wagon. After a minute, Daniela returned. She nodded at me to indicate that Marie Elle was waiting a short distance away.

I was ready. I straddled the leader’s back and placed the blade at his neck. And with a deep breath, I pulled Ashikirimaru to the side… I did something that I didn’t want to have memories of.

After vomiting once again, I wrapped the head in several layers of cloth before stuffing it into a sack and then a leather bag. I couldn’t bring myself to put it inside the hollow bag. Daniela offered to carry the head, and so I handed it to her. Then we returned to the wagon and pushed it back onto its wheels. Marie Elle rested inside as we started to bury the dead. As I couldn’t use fire magic too well, we chose a corner in the forest to bury them. We prayed that their bodies would return to the earth, and result in the birth of new life as we covered them with dirt.

“Asagi, what is that?”

“A grave marker from my world.”

“I see…Simple, but nice.”

“Thank you.”

I made wooden crosses and set them at the heads of the graves. Pushing them deep and hardening the ground so they did not fall. The sun started to set by the time that we were finished.

While I was busy carving the crosses, Daniela fed the gathered horses and set up camp near the wagon. Of course, we avoided the blood-stained soil and had to move a little in the dark. The lights of a town that was probably Replant could be seen in the distance, but the gates were likely shut.

“Asagi, you should get some rest. I will make supper tonight.”

“Thank you…”

“Aye, I will call you when it is ready.”

And so I enter the tent that was pitched next to the wagon. The bedding was already prepared. No underwear this time. I took off my armor and pulled out a clean towel from the hollow bag and used water magic to make it damp enough to wipe away the blood. The cloth quickly became a dark red, but I was pretty clean after using a second one. But I could still smell the stench of iron.

“Daniela, sorry. Could you make a bathtub with earth magic?”

“Aye, I do not mind…but what about the hot water?”

“We should be safe now, so I thought I would use fire magic.”

“I see.”

The barrier tools were set, and we weren’t in the forest anymore, so I decided to use fire magic. I filled the tub that Daniela made with lots of water. Then I thrust an arm inside and let the red colored magic flow out. After several minutes at full power, you could see that steam was rising and the temperature grew warm. After a few more minutes, it was hot enough to bathe in. My magic was now depleted, and I felt incredibly tired. But the job was done. I took out a large cloth, a towel and a change of clothing from the bag. The large cloth was to create a partition. It was tied to one corner of the covered wagon’s frame and the other side was tied to the greatsword that was now piercing the ground.

Not the most reliable partition in the world…

“Hahh…that was tiring…”

I sat on the ground and looked at my finished makeshift bathhouse. I would let Daniela and Marie Elle use it first. Would the water be too hot? Oh, this was not the best place to sit and wait… I decided to rest in the tent until they were finished.

I slowly roll my tired body onto the bedding. We had no blankets now, which kind of sucked. We would have to restock on a lot of cloth as well… I lay there, using my arm as a pillow and was slowly able to relax.

It had been a very eventful day. I killed someone for the first time. That feeling of guilt would not disappear. It didn’t, but I now felt ready to accept it, and not look away. It was because of Marie Elle. She was so strong in spite of being so young. Her father must have taught her well. Regardless of the guilt I felt, I hated the bandits for taking such a father away.

Was there a place to rest such conflicting emotions? The happiness of knowing that she survived, and the sadness of having to kill to ensure it. The guilt of murder and the sense of fulfillment through saving someone.

With such contradictions in my mind and the fatigue of exhausting my magic, I closed my eyelids. I dreamed a little before Daniela came to wake me for dinner. I think I saw myself killing someone. But I didn’t know who it was that I had killed.