Guild Wars Chapter 420
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Essence Stalker and Fitter Cleric walked into the hidden vault. It was something that could only be unlocked by merging a Dragon's reverse scale while channeling the pure Source Origin of a Dragon, so it had to be protecting something precious.
They had expected many things upon entry, but what they actually met stunned them into silence. It was a large red-tinted lounge fit to be a VIP area in any club.
Among the various couches and loveseats, there was one Dragonoid seated there, his reddish-black scales gleaming in the light of the wisps floating around near the ceiling.
There were no treasures inside the room, only him and some female Wyrms and Drakes coiling around him while some music played in the background. What was even stranger was the Dragonoid's attire.
He wore a red snapback, had dark shades covering his eyes, and at least five thick gold chains on his neck. He wore a loose white t-shirt and baggy camo shorts that sagged a bit even while sitting. He wore the latest Air Jordan's on his feet too.
Essence Stalker and Fitter Cleric just stood there, flummoxed as they took in this scene that belonged to a shady club's VIP room rather than a medieval fantasy game that was hyper-realistic.
The Dragonoid laughed and coughed lightly as he released some smoke in a puff. It was then that Essence and Fitter noticed the ashtray before him with some rolled up cigarettes with a greenish looking column in the center.
Judging by the smell and the look, that was definitely…!!
"Hey there Brothers, come take a seat. Let Big Brother Snoop Dragon enlighten you foos on the lowdown." The Dragonoid called them over in a voice that would definitely get the makers of Boundless sued for impersonation!
Essence Stalker and Fitter Cleric shared a look before moving to sit down opposite Snoop Dragon. The 'ladies' in his arms hissed enticingly at Essence Stalker as they sensed his Draconic Source Origin, but the fellow was in no mood to play with snakes.
"Erm… Mr. Snoop Dragon… what exactly… is this place…?" Fitter Cleric asked.
Snoop Dragon took a deep inhale of his roll and exhaled it with a look of enrapture. "Well foo, it's simple. I'm here waiting for the next successor of the Dragon race. We kinda got killed by some handsome dude, much like back in the hood when we patrolled the block, you know what I'm sayin?"
Fitter Cleric nodded unsurely. "Yep! So, who is the successor then?"
Snoop Dragon pondered for a bit, scratching his scaly chin. "See here, it was sapposed to be a fella by the name of Draco with some gal called Hikari last I checked, but they ain't here. So yo buddy, who is also a Dragon, can fit the bill."
Essence Stalker was silent for a while before shaking his head. "Sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea to steal the role from my guild leader. I would consult him first but he is currently unavailable."
Essence might be doing this because he was an honorable fellow, but Fitter nodded in agreement. Trying to take something away from Draco would lead to instant death.
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Snoop Dragon coughed out some smoke and shook a claw. "Naw naw, Brothers, you ain't stealing no role. His job is much bigger than just being a successor, he gotta revive the damn race and rebuild everything."
Snoop Dragon pointed his outstretched claw at Essence Stalker. "What you're gonna do is assist him."
Essence Stalker and Fitter Cleric shared another look. If that was the case, then it shouldn't be a problem, right?
Snoop Dragon waved to the table in front of them, which spawned ashtrays and some rolls for Essence as well as Fitter. "But before we talk about the serious stuff, why don't we loosen up Brothers? Take a few puffs and let us share some Gin and Juice."
Essence and Fitter were going to reject, but remembered that this was a game, not the real world, so they could afford to do whatever they wanted without fear of repercussion.
As such, they both lit their rolls and took a deep puff. As first-timers, they began coughing and hacking due to the unfamiliarity with the pollutive chemicals invading their lungs.
Snoop Dragon laughed, and his girls giggled as well. "Take your time Brothers. Treat your rolls as you would your girl, gentle and with love."
As he said this, he rubbed the lower scales of some of the Wyrms, making them blush and hiss in a strange way. Fitter might not understand the implication with his human eyes, but Essence could. It was the equivalent of placing your hand into a female's panties!
He coughed a bit more and quickly looked away. As a Lineage member with Draconic affiliation, Essence's poison/contaminant resistance was quite high allowing him to enjoy the drug for quite a bit.
Nevertheless, it was as if this strain was made to conquer Dragons specifically and Essence began to smile like a simpleton within about 5 minutes.
On the other hand, Fitter was a normal human. As a Luckmancer, he only ever put his stats into one category and there was nothing special about him giving him any sort of defense. His eyes were already bulging as he gazed at the roof by the time Essence started experiencing the effect of the drug.
It was clear that the lucky fellow was currently going through a sequence of visuals that could even shatter a god's understanding of reality. It was likely that when Fitter sobered up, he would be an unparalleled sage.
Seeing that his new pals were experiencing their first high, Snoop Dragon nodded with approval. "You foos looking good now. Here's the lowdown in this successor nizzle. Basically, you gotta grab the fizzle, slap on the bodizzle, and take it to the fishizzle."
Essence Stalker nodded slowly, like he understood. "So basically, I'll have to take the eggs of a new generation of Dragons that had been kept in storage since the downfall of the dragon race and take them to the Ancestral Dragon City where they can hatch?"
Snoop Dragon snapped his fingers. "Yea yea, see how easy it is to understand when you got the juice flowing through ya lungs?"
Snoop Dragon slapped the rump of one of the female Drakes lying on his chest. "Baby girl, go bring out them fizzles for our Brother here. Then we can finally say we did our part for our gangsta's paradise."
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The Drake cooed and went to the back of the vault, rummaging around for something.
In the meantime, Essence Stalker was taking another deep puff of the good stuff.
"You ever wonder why we're here?" Essence asked deeply.
"It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night." Fitter Cleric, who just came out of his earlier daze, answered.
Essence sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that. Because the only person who could know so much has to be an ENEMY STAND USER!"
Essence roared and jumped to his feet, manifesting a strange Dragonoid spirit behind him that posed fabulously.
Fitter Cleric laughed menacingly and also jumped up, adopting a magnificent pose as a female goddess-like apparition stood behind him with her arms wrapped around Fitter.
Essence clenched his fists and slowly began walking towards his 'pal' as his eyes narrowed. "Bastard… Fitter!"
Fitter simply scoffed and questioned. "Hoh? You're approaching me? You're actually approaching me, Fitter Cleric?"
Essence continued walking staunchly with a serious expression, his voice mirroring his hardened will. "I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer."
Fitter seemed mildly amused by this and began walking towards Essence as well. "Hoh hoh… then, do as you please."
Once they eventually stood before each other, Essence's Dragonoid spirit came out with a punch, but the female apparition was faster and had sent out a kick that shattered the leg portion of his armor.
Fitter shook his head and made a gesture of 'see the shit I go through?'. "Tsk, I wanted to compare our strength since the hype around you was so much, but it seems like I've overestimated you."
Essence remained calm and only gazed at the part where his armor was cracked. "I would say the same. I expected you to be able to tear me in half with one strike, but well... At least you managed to ruin a part of my 3,000 platinum armor."
Fitter became annoyed. "Tch. Why are you Dragons always so reluctant to admit the truth of your own weakness? No matter. Why don't we compare our attack rushes to see who's faster."
Essence remained stoic. "Bring it on."
His Dragonoid spirit came out with a cry of 'Shura!!' while Fitter's female apparition came out with a shriek of 'Wuda!'. Both spirits approached each other and began radiating runes that meant 'menacing' in the language of magic.
In a split second, they began punching at each other ferociously, their hits perfectly timed in speed and accuracy, making them rebound off each other in tandem, creating small shockwaves that whipped about the room.
"Shura! Shura! Shura! Shura! Shura! Shura! Shura! Shura!"
"Wuda! Wuda! Wuda! Wuda! Wuda! Wuda! Wuda! Wuda!"
Their blows ricocheted off their masters, highlighting their expressions as if time had paused. While Essence was maintaining a stoic expression, Fitter was showing an arrogant one.
This was a moment that was locked in time, displaying the heroic might of the hero Essence, going against the tyrannical evil that was Fitter Cleric!
Alas, that scene could only be comprehended by their THC addled minds. In reality, both of them were punching the air while shouting and making strange poses that were not fabulous but could only be described as embarrassing.
After the Drake had returned with all 5 of the remaining eggs, the only thing left to do was to hand them over to Essence. Yet the room was silent as Snoop Dragon and his ladies took in the questionable scene before them.
Snoop Dragon gazed at the roll he was smoking and rubbed his scalp. "Maybe I shoulda given them a weaker strain… having these brothas start out with the strong stuff might not have been a good idea…"
But he laughed the next moment and released another puff. "But there's no use worryin. These Brothers look like they're gonna drop it like its hawt, so why not watch the show."
It took a long time of 'fighting and shouting' for Fitter and Essence to return to their senses, but they didn't feel embarrassed. They genuinely felt like that experience had been real and not mere hallucination.
Essence received the eggs from Snoop Dragon and was led to an underground room with a portal gateway set in the wall opposite the entrance. Snoop Dragon released another cloud of smoke as he pointed at the gateway.
"Right there, brotha. That's the only way to get into the Ancestral Dragon City without a Dragon God's blessing. It's a one-time use, one-way shady, so you gotta find another way out once you're done."
Essence, still slightly high, nodded with valor. "No matter the obstacles, I shall make sure these kids see the light of day!"
Fitter, also slightly high, muttered under his breath. "Goody two-shoes loser."
Snoop Dragon patted both their backs "That's the spirit my homies, now in you go!"
With a push, both Essence and Fitter were thrust into the portal gateway before they could even scream, and it snapped shut, then crumbled the moment they went through.
Snoop Dragon silently watched them pass through. One of his female Drakes brought a glass of gin and juice to him which he downed in one big gulp. After that, he spoke wise words culminated after years of living and experience.
"The Dragon race is doomed."
He sighed with defeat, but still took one last puff, even as his body began to fade away, accompanied by all his female Wyrms and Drakes who hugged him closely.
"Well, we did our part for the family sistas, now it's time to scoop the underworld and get a look at that wishizzle… yea!"
A shame nobody was there to record his last words. The vault door that had been opened by Essence closed and disappeared, while the lounge that had been filled with smoke turned into an empty cavern.
There was no longer anything that could bear testimony to the existence of the legendary Snoop Dragon and his crib.
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