《I’ll Teach You, Marianne.》I'll Teach You, Marianne.
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Anne was silent when Mrs. Riley and Mrs. Delilah mentioned about Jack. She was confused about how to explain because that in fact she and Jack didn't have any special relationship.
"Why are you silent, Anne?" asked Mrs. Riley softly.
"He's my friend, Ma'am, the first friend I have since I set foot in England after I got divorced from my ex-husband," answered Anne honestly.
"Just friends?" asked Mrs. Delilah in turn to ask.
"Y-yeah, we're just friends," Anne answered softly, almost without a sound as she lowered her head. She was confused about how to explain Jack's question to the two middle-aged women who had become her place to let out her heart.
The two middle-aged women smiled at Anne's answer. Having lived for more than fifty years, these two women had had a lot more experiences than Anne. They could tell from Anne's gesture and speech that actually this man named Jack was not just an ordinary friend to Anne. Therefore, they both decided to tease Anne, so that Anne would not remember the bitter incident in her sad past again. They both still couldn't believe that the cheerful and kind-hearted girl they knew turned out to have a very long and painful experiences in the past.
"If he is the first friend you got after moving from Germany, that means you've known him for more than two years, right?" said Mrs. Riley, opening the conversation.
"Yes, I have known him for more than two years, Ma'am," said Anne quietly, as she raised her face to look at Mrs. Riley.
"He's still single?" asked Mrs. Riley curiously.
"When I met for the first time two years ago at Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, he just had his heart broken because his girlfriend left him. She left him because she chose a soccer player. So as far as I know, he is still single and not married, but I don't know if he's hiding something behind my back, Ma'am," said Anne again.
Hearing Anne's answer made Mrs. Riley and Mrs. Delilah looked at each other for a moment with a smile. They both looked like parents listening to the daughter's current outpouring.
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"Anne, do you want me to tell you a little secret?" asked Mrs. Delilah to Anne.
"Yes, Ma'am," Anne replied enthusiastically.
Mrs. Delilah smiled at the change in Anne's expression. Then, she cleared her throat slowly to make the atmosphere a little dramatic.
Mrs. Delilah slowly put her hand on Anne's shoulder. She embraced Anne like a young gossiping girl. Shortly thereafter, she turned her lips to Anne's hair-covered ear and whispered, "Nine out of ten friends between men and women always end in love affairs, especially with your friendship that has been more than two years. Are you sure you don't have any feelings for him?"
"If I can be honest, Jack has actually opened his heart to me. It's just that I'm still really too scared to start a relationship again, Ma'am, I don't want to experience the same heartache. Having the title widow at a young age makes me feel unworthy of him. I- I'm afraid that people will mock me with my status if they know that I'm a widow. I'm not ready for all of that, Ma'am, that's why I refused his proposal to marry him," said Anne honestly.
"And actually not only Jack who had asked me to marry, there is another nice man who proposed to me. His name is Aaron. I got to know him after I knew Jack. Aaron kept saying the same sentence. He kept asking me to marry him. Because I feel uncomfortable hearing those words from him, I finally told him my true status yesterday when we had lunch together. I told him the truth about my status and he was very angry when he found out that I was a widow. He thought I was dishonest to him. And it turned out that the thing I was afraid of happened. There are still many people who underestimate widows. Even close people think that being a widow is bad, so what about people out there who don't like me? Honestly, I'm not ready to face all of that, Ma'am. I'm not ready to be the subject of ridicule from people. Since I was little, I was always bullied and never got injustice, which makes me afraid to start a relationship with anyone, and honestly, sometimes it crossed my mind not to be married ever ..."
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"Hush, don't talk like that, it's not good, Anne," Mrs. Delilah interrupted Anne's words quickly while placing a finger on Anne's lips.
"The ones in the relationship is you and your partner, Anne, not someone else. So you don't have to think about what other people say that will bother you, because believe me, those who hate us don't need a reason to hate us. Let them laugh, let them win. Because their defeat is to see that you are okay. Let them hurt, let them hate you. Because you win when they see you are okay, so don't bother with whatever they say, Anne. You only have two hands and you can't use those two hands to cover their mouths, you better use your hands to cover your ears," added Mrs. Delilah.
Anne was silent at her words. She tried to digest the advice that had just been given to her.
Mrs. Riley slowly smoothed Anne's messy hair. She also gently wiped the remaining tears that were still in the corner of Anne's eyes.
"You've been crying too much, Anne, this is the time for you to achieve happiness. I know that it's not easy to escape from the shadows of the past, especially with you who have had a lot of bad experiences. But you have to forget everything, Anne, you have to live happily. Trust me. God loves you. All of your bad experiences, I believe, were only small tests from God to raise your class. Only selected people will get tests like you, Anne, and you must be grateful because you are chosen by God to pass all this, because not everyone can pass what you've been through. So now you have to convince yourself that you deserve to be happy. As for the matters of your status, it is just a status on paper that is not important, because in fact, you are even still a virgin right? Out there, there are many women who are still single and are not a virgin, Anne. So you have to be grateful for that, you are way above those women," said Mrs. Riley, trying to cheer Anne up.
"But Aaron's attitude is ..."
"And a man who sincerely loves you will not care about your status, Anne, whether you are widowed or single. Virgin or not, he will definitely accept you. Trust me there are still good men like that in this old world. Today, God still sets aside a good man like that for a girl as good and beautiful as you, Anne," said Mrs. Delilah, who interrupted Anne's words.
Anne was unable to speak again when she heard Mrs. Delilah's words. Growing up without a mother who should be her place to share her grievances made Anne easily doubt and hesitant. When she was strong enough to plant the tree, there would always be a big wind blowing, so that she was ruined again. But this time, after hearing all the advice from the two women in front of her, Anne felt calm and comfortable. The feeling of tightness in her chest that had existed for years slowly faded when she started talking to the two women in front of her for the first time. Suddenly, Anne hugged both Mrs. Delilah and Mrs. Riley while crying.
"Thank you for everything, Ma'am, thank you for strengthening me again. Thank you for ..."
"Cry if you still want to cry, Anne, but promise me that this is the last time you cry. You can't cry again in the future, there will only be a smile on your beautiful face, Anne. You have the right to be happy, dear," said Mrs. Delilah, softly cutting off Anne's words.
"Yes, Anne, you deserve and have the right to be happy," added Mrs. Riley quietly in response to Mrs. Delilah's words.
Anne nodded her head slowly in the arms of the two kind laundry women. This was the first time Anne had felt this light. It was as if all the heavy burdens that had been on her shoulders had been gone.
to be continued
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