No, it wasn’t the matter of his baby’s suitors! He, the dignified and the magnanimous ruler of Astarea, and his darling’s one and only future husband didn’t need to worry about some peasants stealing the goddess–ahem, the god of his heart!

(︶^︶)ノ

Alright, fine! The actual truth was that he hadn’t gotten his hands on that list just yet… (≖ ‸ ≖)

Apparently, getting a list of his love rivals involved a lot of research; getting accurate information within such a short time frame was unrealistic. Or at least that’s what his people had claimed with tears in their eyes.

Hmph, since he had more pressing matters to attend to right now, he would let them off the hook this once.

As for the mentioned pressing matters, they were naturally related to getting married to his baby. Back when he had decided to switch the bride of the arranged marriage to his baby, Levi had lamented how much easier it would all be if he could just ‘cook the rice’. If only he could do this and that and get his baby pregnant!

Besides the obvious matter of relationships between the parties involved, the biggest obstacle to him marrying his baby was the problem of the future heir. The whole point of the arranged marriage was to produce an heir of both bloodlines that would inherit the two cities. Without the heir, this marriage change would definitely not be approved by either of the two families.

And thus, while Levi waited for his fiancée to finally return home, he embarked on a thorough expedition through all corners of the internet for hidden treas–ahem, way to resolve the issue of an heir.

***

Hours later, though very unwilling, Levi had been forced to accept that technological advancement still hadn’t reached the point of male pregnancy…

Tsk, how outrageous! They were already in the age of maglev transportation and light screens, yet somehow, male pregnancy still hasn’t been cracked? What’s wrong with those researchers?! They had their priorities all wrong!! What could possibly be more important than the continued procreation of the human race?!?

(Blackie: (￢_￢;) ‘Um… great and wise ruler of Astarea… I highly doubt that the human race would go extinct if researchers don’t figure out how to make men pregnant… I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there is a not-so-mythical creature living everywhere on this land going by the name of a “woman” that already has such capabilities…’)

Still, Astar Levi was a very stubborn man, as evidenced by him being an Enforcer; thus, he refused to give up this idea of an offspring between himself and his darling. He continued to flip through various theses and research papers, all the while comforting himself with the thought that if worst came to worst, he’d just run away to elope with his darling.

Blackie, (≖_≖) ‘…run away and elope? Are you sure you don’t mean kidnap against his will?’

***

Time passed slowly. The moon rose up in the sky and then started to fall back down. Levi had already gone through every corner of the internet, reading a good number of different medical publications, but his fiancée had yet to return home or respond to his calls.

By the time the clock struck 2 AM, Levi’s teeth had nearly been ground into dust, his bloodshot eyes had almost popped a vein, and the sofa had a clear indent where Levi’s fingers had been tapping, and his fiancée had yet to grace him with her presence!

He wasted so many hours waiting for her! Hours he could have spent cuddling with his baby!!! Unforgivable!!

With the last dregs of his patience entirely spent, taken over by fuming outrage, the cold loner wolf Astar Levi snapped. Before his sleep-deprived mind could process what he was doing, he had already pressed the send button.

Blackie, who always had one eye on his host’s future husband, nearly coughed up blood at the spot seeing the message the dolt had just sent to his fiancée:

"The engagement is off. I won't marry you. From this moment on, we are over and done in all ways possible.

P.S. I'm changing the bride of the arranged marriage to your brother."

‘Oh, my god!! This retard!! How could you break off an engagement via a text message?!?’ Blackie nearly foamed at his virtual mouth, ‘And in such a brutal way?!? Did you forget that your future with your baby depends on a peaceful breakup!?!?! And… and… and that ‘P.S.’!!!!’

○|￣|_

‘Idiots! I am surrounded by complete idiots!!’

(ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ ┻━┻

Blackie nearly intercepted the message then and there but stopped himself at the last second. What’s the use of intercepting it? It would only make matters worse! Now that Levi was convinced he had already broken up with his fiancée, he would have no scruples in eating his host’s tofu.

If Blackie made sure the other side didn’t receive this message, then when Levi’s lecherous actions got exposed later, Levi would be accused of cheating because no one other than him would know that he had already broken off his previous relationship!

…Blackie was better off just letting nature take its course… (◞‸ლ)

Being labeled as tactless, heartless, fickle, or dumb-as-fuck would still be better than being a cheating scum…

While Blackie was having a midlife crisis, questioning his continued existence due to the sheer stupidity he had to deal with daily, Levi, too, was starting to feel an onset of regret. Breaking off a ten-year-long engagement through a text message… Ah… this really was a bit of a dick move…

He could have at least worded it a bit better? It wouldn’t have cost him anything if he had spent a few more minutes sugarcoating it a bit…

‘Well, whatever, what’s done is done,’ Levi shook his head. It was her own fault that she neither showed up to their lunch appointment nor called him back! You reap what you sow.

(Blackie: (◞‸ლ) ‘You’re the one to talk… you didn’t show up for that appointment either!! And for exact same reasons as her!!’)

Forget it, forget it. Levi’s spirits lifted. His baby cared for him so much and even promised not to leave him. Things would surely work out juuuuust fiiiine.

Actually, he felt so much better now that he got that off his chest. As if he was 200 pounds lighter and free as a bird. Now he even felt regretful he hadn’t sent the message sooner.

Ah! The regret! If he had known his breakup would turn out like this, he could have broken it off two days ago, and now, instead of sleeping next to his baby, he would be sleeping in his baby! (／≧ω＼)

Blackie: (눈_눈) ‘Heh. Delusional. If you had broken it off two days ago, you wouldn’t have even had the chance to step into the foyer, let alone your darling’s bedroom…

‘In fact, you better cherish this last night sleeping in your baby’s room because chances are you will be getting excommunicated by the Cordia’s tomorrow…’ ಥ‿ಥ

Author Note:

I remember someone saying a few chapters back that considering how Noah’s sis has been ghosting Levi, it is a wonder he hadn’t broken it up through an email or something. When I read that comment, I choked on my spit and thought, ‘Fuck, is my writing getting predictable?’ *sweating buckets*

P.S. How many of you thought that the author was trolling again with that title? (¬‿¬) Heh, heh, let it be known you can never be sure whether I am trolling you guys or not.