Hate You, Love You. Chapter 114
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Jason
Ignoring the other messages, I click on her number and send a quick text.
Jason: You good?
Would she or would she not respond?
I stare at my phone in anticipation, my heart racing. It's so stupid, I'm a guy for fucks sake and my heart is behaving like it's pussy-whipped.
Mel: I am. You?
She responded!
Jason: Great
I want to ask her about the person she lost in death but how to approach the conversation is the tricky part.
Jason: Are you sure you're okay? Like really okay?
Mel: I don't know
Mel: I'm just overwhelmed I guess
With grief?
Jason: You can always talk to me about anything
Jason: I'm always ready to listen.
I could listen to her melodic voice for hours and not get tired of hearing it. She's not much of a talker, but if she was, I wouldn't mind at all. Bottom line, I'm willing to take whatever she is giving.
I guess my heart is right. I am pussy-whipped.
Well, the pussy part hasn't been explored yet, for obvious reasons, but whipped is more accurate.
Mel: Someone I knew, or at least I thought I knew, died
Mel: And I guess that's the reason why I'm not really okay
Pondering over my next response, my thumb pads the keys. I'm not exactly good at this whole comforting someone who lost someone in death thing. I've had many near-death experiences, and the people that patronize me are grim-reapers but I still don't know what to say to make her feel better.
Do I say sorry?
Jason: I'm lying on my bed right now and I don't know wtf I'm supposed to say
Jason: Do I say sorry for your loss?
Jason: I'm not really good at comforting people in situations like this
Or in any situation at all.
Mel: You don't have to say sorry for your loss…lol
Mel: What's done is done and death is irreversible
Mel: We the living just have to move forward
That's one way to look at it.
Jason: The person must have meant a lot to you if you were crying like that
Jason: It must hurt like hell
Her reply is almost immediate.
Mel: You remember, huh?
How can I forget? Every tear that slipped from her eyes nearly broke me into a million pieces because they were never ending and I couldn't do shit about it. She wouldn't stop crying even when we got to her apartment and only wiped the tears a little once she saw her sister approaching us.
Whoever it is that died must have been a family member or someone extremely close to Mel.
Jason: I'll never forget it
Jason: Remember, I said I hate seeing you cry
Mel: I remember
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Mel: To answer your question
Mel: He did mean a lot to me
He?
Mel: What hurts like hell isn't necessarily his death, it's what's left in its wake
Jason: Cryptic much?
Mel: It's the truth
Jason: A family member?
Mel: Maybe
Calm down, Jason. She may be talking about her dead grandpa. I don't even know her grandparents very well, except for a Grandma Maggie she mentioned once during our conversations. Anyway, she's probably talking about her grandpa or uncle, and not some other guy.
There's no need to be jealous.
Why should I even be jealous? There's nothing cute about Princess crying over me. I've said it once, I'll say it again, and I'll probably say this a million times but I hate to see her cry and I'd be damned if I'm ever the cause of a single tear from her eyes.
Jason: I hope you get better soon
Mel: I'm trying
What to do. What to do.
Jason: Want to do something that can make you feel better?
Mel: I'm down for whatever
Score!
Jason: My mum is hosting this luncheon thing she does almost every year
Jason: It's for her company and she said I could bring a date
Jason: Would you do me the honours?
Her reply isn't as immediate as the others and that makes me a little nervous. She declined my invitation to go out on a date when I asked her in her bedroom. Still have a little bruised ego, but I'm not mad about it. I figured there was something holding her back from saying yes. She wants me. Her whole body fucking wants me as I do her but she had shit she needed to figure out at the time. That was two months ago.
I thought she was going to jump out of the car the minute I drove past the school during the Sadie Hawkins dance, but she didn't. In fact, she was totally cool about the whole Jaguar thing and what I do during my spare time. I not-so-subtly hinted that if she wanted to be with me, she'd have to actually see who me was. She took everything in like a champ and was no doubt supportive all through the race. She was even the first person to hug me the minute I got out of the Veyron after being declared the winner.
That's progress, right?
My phone dings in my hand and I look down at my device
Mel: Yes, I'd love to
Fuck, yea.
''Buzz,'' I turn to my pet hamster who is awake now. ''She said YES!'' As usual, he gives me a blank look but I don't care. My excitement should suffice for the both of us.
Jason: Does that mean yes to our date?
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I'm testing the waters here, I know but she hasn't actually accepted my proposal of a date. The one at the Jaguar doesn't count because it was under false pretences.
Mel: Yes, Blunt.
Mel: It's a yes to our date
Confirmation. Check
Solid Confirmation. Double check
Jason: Awesome. Looking forward to it
Jason: I'll pick you up. It's on Sunday
Jason. I'll text you further details as soon as I get them
Mel: Noted and looking forward to it too
I smile at my phone like a fucking idiot because I know that she's mine and I'm really falling for her. I never smiled like this while I was with Mariah.
You know, the school may say that I've dated a lot of girls, but that's a big lie. The only girl I dated was Mariah and the people who spread those rumours are those that wished they dated me. Mariah and I had a somewhat tumultuous and toxic relationship. We were together since seventh grade, matched by societal standards because I was the captain of the basketball team and she the head cheerleader.
It was a match supposed to be made in heaven.
But it wasn't, far from it really. In seventh grade, things were good. Mariah was sweet, lovely and exuded Southern Belle charm. I thought I bagged a real one, but I was wrong, dead wrong. Things started moving south the minute I found out she slept with the Calculus teacher. At first, I thought it was a rumour but she confirmed it herself. Why she did it? She never gave a proper explanation. The only thing she said was she was sorry.
And I forgave her. I thought that since the whole school knew about it and she was being called a skank and every derogatory name you could call a female, I'd stick by her side so we'd put up a united front. Besides, I didn't want to add to her humiliation even further.
I swept it under the rug and was willing to overlook it, but the trust we had had already been broken. I chose to overlook it, yes, but I didn't forget it. When Mel came to the school in eight grade and we started butting heads, Mariah and I were also having other issues. She flat out told me that I shouldn't waste time on someone that was ''beneath me." She said that I know better than to be arguing with someone who wasn't up to our standard. I never told Mariah my backstory and till this day, I still wonder how she would react if she found out that I didn't come from old money. I bet if she knew back then, she would have broken up with me.
Mariah started showing me her true colours. She was a bitch and things started getting very ugly. We were constantly arguing. She was accusing me of having feelings for Mel. I was accusing her of sleeping with my teammates. She did, and the bastards had the nerve to brag about it in the locker room. After that, I figured that if she was not being faithful, why should I? I started screwing around too but I was a little more discreet with my lays unlike her.
I had every intention of breaking up with her, but when she told me she was pregnant in the summer of twenty-seventeen, I decided to bridle my tongue. We argued again, no surprise there and she was hysterical. She was only fifteen and I sixteen. We may be ''rich'', but we certainly weren't ready to have kids. I didn't even envision the mother of my kids to be her.
But it happened.
I accused her of lying to me, and rightfully so because I didn't trust her. None of us were faithful in the relationship so I was sceptical that the baby was mine. However, she explained shit and I calculated the last time we had sex and it made sense.
The straw that broke the camel's back in our already toxic relationship was when she had the abortion after I begged her for weeks not to. After that, I knew I was done. I told her that I'll never forgive her for that and I haven't because it still fucking hurts. She hasn't apologized either.
We were in a relationship, at least in the eyes of those at Adelaide, but we were miles apart.
Part of the reasons why we had problems was because she was jealous and possessive. She was always jealous of Mel, I don't know why, and she accused me many times of harbouring feelings for her. That was why Mel became her public enemy and she antagonized her in any way she could.
Of course, I would deny her claims but deep down, I knew it was true.
I did have feelings for her but I was too pigheaded to admit it.
Plus, I was still with Mariah, even though we never really acted like a couple anymore.
Jason: I miss you
Mel: I miss us
Jason: I miss talking to you like this
Mel: I miss that too
Mel: It's my fault. I've been MIA
Jason: No need to apologize
Jason: I should have reached out
But, I figured she needed space to heal
Mel: It's both our faults then
Mel: We'll do better
Jason: Deal?
Mel: Deal
Something tells me this relationship is going to be different.
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