Dane

Forgiven? Himself? Was that even possible? Dane blinked at his old friend. "I… hadn't even thought about it, honestly."

​​

"Have you asked God to forgive you?"

Dane snorted. "No."

"He will."

"Yeah, we've covered that, Bert," he said dismissively.

"I don't know. You weren't quite so confronted with all of this last time we talked. Do you have any questions?"

Dane sighed. He was about to say no, but there was one thing… "You could tell me why God should bother with forgiveness? I mean, look at my life. It's not like I've earned it."

"None of us have. Has Lila earned your forgiveness?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"By loving me."

"Don't you think you would love her, whether she'd forgiven you or not?"

Dane thought about it. "Well, yes."

"So, you don't forgive her because she loves you. You forgive her because you love her. She forgives you for the same reason."

"I hope so," Dane said, stroking her hair again.

Bert leaned forward over the table. "Dane, God loves you, so he found a way, through Jesus, to make it possible to forgive you for even the ugliest things in your life. The question isn't whether you deserve it. No one deserves forgiveness. But we're given it by God because he loves us. All He asks for is love in return."

"Why?"

"Why does He want love?"

"Why does he bother with forgiveness?"

Bert smiled. "Absolution. God's a big believer in redemption stories."

"Absolution?"

"Don't you wish there was a way you could be certain, absolutely certain, that everything you'd ever done was paid for?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, freedom, Dane. Have you ever had a debt you had to pay off?"

"Well, sure."

"And do you remember the feeling the moment you made the last payment on that debt and you never had to think about it again?"

Dane rubbed his jaw. "Yes."

"So, imagine that, but for your soul. Even the blackest, darkest things within you, even the worst you know of people, even the worst things done to you… washed away. Clean. Forgiven. Gone. The debt of blood, or whatever it needed, paid. And you can walk away free, and never have to carry it again."

Dane had a glimpse, just for a moment, of a life like that. A heart full of light and a mind full of gratitude and joy. The ease of breathing…

He swallowed hard. "That would be… really good," he said, looking down at Lila again. "I want to give her what she deserves."

"Lila needs absolution too, Dane, don't you doubt that."

"Not as much as me."

"Perhaps not, but absolution anyway. So… ask God. It's what He sent Jesus to do. He'll lift that weight off your shoulders and take that stain off your soul and you can walk away free."

"Why?"

"Because He loves you."

"Why?!"

Bert shrugged. "I couldn't tell you."

Dane blinked, then Bert burst out laughing and reached across the table, to pat his shoulder. "Friend, one of these days—probably when you finally give in and let Jesus take the weight for you—you'll realize that you are far more loveable than you realize."

Dane took a deep breath. He didn't know what to say.

"I'm going to leave you with that for a while and get some sleep," Bert said. "We'll be refueling in a couple hours, but we won't be out of here until the early hours. Give that some thought, and get some rest. You've got a big couple days in front of you."

Dane thanked his friend and watched him get up and walk to the back of the plane where several chairs were installed that reclined to almost flat.

Then Dane sat in the hum of the engines, stroking Lila's hair, and thinking about darkness, and absolution, forgiveness, and love. He thought about how the darkness in his home had killed his family. Even the family he thought he'd kept.

He didn't want that to happen with Lila. He wanted freedom. He wanted peace. He wanted to feel... light.

He wanted all of it.

*****

Lila

She didn't know what had happened overnight, but when she woke a few hours later, her head still in Dane's lap, he didn't look like he'd slept. But his smile was so broad and soft, it almost brought tears to her eyes.

She'd become aware of his thigh under her head and sat up quickly, sucking in, forgetting for a moment where they were. But when she remembered and turned around, he was still sitting leaned back against the wall of the plane, smiling at her.

Smiling at her like he'd taken a happy pill. "Good morning," he said, his voice husky with lack of sleep.

"Is it? Morning?"

"Sort of. I think it's like three?"

She blinked and looked around again. The Cabin was dim. There was a soft snore coming from the back where it looked like Bert was sprawled in a recliner. But the rest of their side of the cabin was empty.

"We're landing in an hour, apparently," Dane said, still smiling. Lila pushed her hair back off her face and he caught her hand and pulled it up to his mouth, kissing her fingers. "And by the way, I really love you, Lila."

"I love you, too."

"I know. And I know I haven't always deserved that, but… this is fresh start. We're going to build a new life. And I'm going to do everything I can not to let the old one creep up on us, okay? I'm here. For real. I'm… excited."

And he looked it. Truly excited. Grinning boyishly, his eyes sparkling. Lila smiled in return and put a hand to his face. He leaned towards her, looking at her lips and whispered. "And I'm going to do everything I can to be a great dad. The best kind of dad. Nothing like mine. I promise," he said, then met her eyes again.

Lila's heart sank. She bit her lip, and his face went still.