Dane

For the first time in his life, he saw stars from sheer pleasure. His body throbbed, first with ecstacy, then with a rush of relief and joy so extreme, he couldn't get enough oxygen for a minute and his breath began to wheeze. It was as if his skin couldn't contain the rush of feelings, and it threatened to split and spill him out into the air.

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"Lila," he gasped.

His elbows were still braced above her shoulders, and he'd dropped his head against her temple, his fingers in her hair, panting her name, shivering with his release, and with disbelief that she was here. She was really here. They had made it. Somehow, impossibly, they had made it.

For a moment he let that sink in. They had won. They had truly won. His father had sworn this moment would never come for them, and yet, here they were. Not only together and healthy—at least in body—but still… together. Unified. Still attached.

The fucker had lost.

It was the last thought Dane ever wanted to have about the man.

He was still trying to catch his breath, still reeling from what he was understanding, the first time Lila's body shook. For a moment he grinned, thinking she was laughing. But then a strangled cry erupted from her throat and her arms around his neck tightened.

"Oh, Dane!" she sobbed suddenly. He was confused for a moment, but he squeezed her back. Then she pressed her face into his shoulder and he could feel her tears.

"Shhhhhh, baby. Oh baby, don't cry," he whispered, stroking her hair and kissing her cheek. But it was too much. She'd carried too much for too long, and after giving herself over, she was broken open. He had to stay there, as close as it was possible to be, and listen to her weep out the pain his father had caused—the pain he had caused. And his heart broke all over again. But this time… this time, he realized, he was there. They didn't have to try and navigate this alone—either of them. When one of them broke, the other could be strong. And then they could have their turn being weak.

Right now, he was strong. He could fix this. He could hold her, and remind her that they had won.

They had fucking won.

Unaware of his jubilance, Lila cried heaving sobs, clinging to him, not allowing him to uncover her face, just begging him to stay there, not to let her go. "Please, Dane!" her voice was high and shrill through her cries.

He shushed her gently and continued stroking her hair. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, baby. Never again. Never. You never have to be alone again, okay?" He kissed her temple and prayed he could make good on that promise, because he never wanted to see her broken and afraid like this again. Everything inside him recoiled from ever being apart from her—how would he ever feel safe when she wasn't there to touch? But he knew he'd have to worry about that later.

Lila cried until she couldn't speak, and still her shoulders shook. He started to worry she'd choke. So, to give her more room, less weight on her chest, he rolled to the side, still against her. And yet, she panicked for a second. "Dane! No! Don't leave me please!"

He shushed her quietly, stroked her hair and back and gathered her into his chest, sliding one arm under head so she rested on his arm instead of the pillow, and laying his other arm up her spine, until his fingers tangled in her hair. And, just like she had that very first night, she curled up like a child, her knees to her chest. And he curled his entire body around her, pulling her close as he tugged his knees up underneath her, so she was surrounded by him.

They lay that way forever. Every sob and hiccup was a blade to his heart, but he reassured himself that she was starting to slow and calm. So, while she still cried, he combed his fingers through her hair and told her all the things he'd thought and known while they were apart. All the ways he'd remembered her, all the joys she'd brought him just by being alive and safe.

"You were all I thought about. Every second, Lila. The only thing that kept me sane. Knowing that somehow we would find a way to get here, just like this. I had to believe that. I couldn't have… couldn't have gone on without that.

"Every time he'd try to push me past the edge, or he'd try to taunt me, I'd just… see you."

And then he told her what he saw, what he hoped.

"When I heard you were having a baby, Lila, it… it lit something inside me. I've never felt that way before."

She sobbed harder and he squeezed her close. "It's okay, baby, I know. I know it was just for my father. It was a master-stroke though, you're so clever. I just want you to know… Hearing that made me so excited. I could see it—you and me and someone else that we made… doesn't that just blow your mind? One day I want that with you, Lila. I want to have that life we talked about where we get bored, and talk to our kid's teachers and just… live. I want to live every day with you, and have children with you. I want to have to argue quietly and fuck quietly so we don't wake the kids. And… I want that, Lila. With you. I've never wanted that before, have you? When this is done, when we're finally finished with all this shit, I want that. I want to go after it with you."

She sobbed again—happily this time, he thought—and finally she lifted her face out of his chest. With her red and puffy eyes still shining with tears, she pulled back to look at him and her chin trembled. "That's good, because… the truth is, we might not have to wait," she said in a croak.

Dane went very still.