Dane

Dane sat on the other side of his father's desk. They were alone again, and he couldn't decide if that was more comfortable, or less. It remained eerie watching his father. They looked so alike, at times it fucked with his head. When they'd last spent significant time together he was still a teenager. And though the resemblance had been marked at the time, he hadn't grown into himself yet.

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Now… now they were near twins—to an outside observer who didn't know better, his father was simply more dignified, slightly more tired looking version of Dane.

But it turned Dane's head upside down, because he knew the man inside there. And at times he looked and thought he had to be seeing his own future.

As soon as he heard the thought in his own head, he pinched his lips and muttered a curse. Shit. His dad was getting to him.

"Have you watched the tapes, Dane?" his father said without even leading into the conversation.

"Yes." He was too tired to try and play games.

"All of them?"

"As far as I know," he said. "Everything that Felix showed me."

His father hummed and leaned down to open a drawer and put something inside. "Thoughts?" he asked, like they were talking about a marketing plan.

"I think I was sick then, and I'm sick now, and what does it matter? I'm here, so show it to whoever you want. As long as you keep me out of Police hands, it makes no difference to me."

"Oh, Dane, I don't believe that," his father said, but without looking at him.

Dane sighed. "So tell me what I have to do, Dad? I'm here. I'm here even though Lila isn't. I've done everything you've asked. I put up with Felix and his threats. I saw what you've got on me—if I needed any more motivation to stick around, which I don't—that would have done it. So… what do you want me to say?"

His father looked up at him and leaned on the desk, staring. "How did it feel to go back to that time?"

"Felix already had this conversation with me—"

"And now I want to have it," his father said, with the edge of anger in his voice that was a warning to Dane's entire nervous system. Adrenalin flooded his veins, his muscles tensed. No matter what else had changed, that had not. Even the hint of his faher's anger put Dane's body into panic.

He swallowed and pushed it down, but he was beginning to come apart at the seams. "What do you want to know?" he asked a moment later.

"I want to know how it felt going back. Seeing those days."

"It felt like man, I was one fucked up kid," he said honestly.

His father snorted. "Well that's certainly true." He smiled, like it pleased him. "How does it feel knowing your wife's going to see that."

"It feels final," he said through his teeth.

His father met his eyes and waited, but Dane didn't add anything else. "You think she'll be…. Turned away by that?"

"Obvoiusly," he spat. "That's why you did it."

"Yet, here you sit. No tears. No… angst."

"I have angst. But what's the point in falling apart? It isn't going to change anything. I'm glad she's safe. I'm sorry she had to get hurt for you to feel like you can leave her alone. Again, if I needed more motivation… well, anyway. The thing I'm focusing on is that there's a kind of freedom in it."

"Do tell?"

Dane shot him a look, but his father wasn't smiling. So he shrugged. "I hate it, honestly. I'm not proud of those days. But it's also inside me. It doesn't bother me the way it bothers other people. So… knowing that she knows now, knowing I'm not hiding it anymore… there's some freedom in that. I can just… be me."

"You do say all the right things, Son," his father said slowly, still watching him like a hawk on a mouse.

Dane held his gaze. "It's easy to say them when they're true. You guys all talk around everything because you're hiding stuff. You find out that being honest is a lot easier."

"So be honest with me."

"I already am."

His father's lips thinned. "If I died tomorrow and you were free of me as well as her… where would you go?"

"I'd hunt my brother down for betraying me, shoot him, and then take my money and run," he said without hesitation.

His father's eyes lit up and a slow smile bloomed on his face. "Well, maybe one day I'll give you that opportunity. But for now, you're both working for me. I see a kind of unity in that."

"Keep him away from me," Dane muttered.

His father nodded. "He isn't… close to me the way you are, Dane. You don't need to fear that. He's just a tool, like the others. We only trust him to a point. He has a tendency to… go off script."

Dane snorted. "I'm glad I'm not the only one that he pissed off that way."

"Definitely, not."

Dane ran his hand back and forth over his head, then gave his father a look. "While we're chatting, I'm curious about something."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. What did you have on Tish? How did you get to her? She doesn't strike me as the type who went looking for someone like you."

"No, that's true. Tish was coerced, though she excelled as a double agent, I must say. She's an extremely good liar. I think that nervous thing was an act, even before I got my hands on her. I think she's used it to manipulate people all along."

Dane shrugged, he didn't really care about her past. "So, what do you have on her?"

"The usual. I put her sister and nephew under threat. But I also showed her that I knew her secrets and was happy to share them with others if she didn't play along."

Dane tilted his head. "What secrets does Tish have?"

His father stared hard at him, and Dane couldn't shake the impression that he was being weighed and measured. The question was, would his father land on the side of trusting him?

He kept his face blank and prayed.