Lila

"You see?" he mutters, and that darkness is back in his voice again. "You see why I've been alone? You see how impossible this is? See why I've been stopping myself from feeling for anyone?" He leaps to his feet before she can catch him and starts pacing the living room.

​​

She follows him, pleading. "I'm sorry, Dane, I shouldn't have taunted you. I don't want to kiss other men. I was just…the idea of you touching other women—"

"I don't want to touch other women, but what choice do we have?" he mutters. "If I don't do something, they'll notice pretty soon and start asking around. Chris will notice too. But I mean, there are ways to lay a false trail—to make people think I'm dealing with extra stress, or something…but if they even think there's a possibility…" Back and forth for a couple minutes. Mouth watering, she watched his shoulders roll as he paced, until he just stopped in the middle of the floor and turned to face her. "This is impossible," he said, his face lined with grief.

"Dane, no!"

"I can't put you in this kind of danger. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you. I have to go find.... something." And he started for the door.

No, she would not let him do this to himself—or to her! Leaping in front of him she laid her palms flat on his bare chest. "Dane, no. Dane, stop!"

He came to a shuddering halt, gripping her wrists, but he didn't pull her hands off. Lila forced him to meet her eyes and spoke quietly. Calmly. "We can make this work," she said firmly. "It will be hard, and there will be times we'll hate it. But…Dane I would hate not being with you more than this."

"But if you were hurt—" he breathed.

"We won't let that happen," she said, shaking her head. "neither of us. And no one who cares about us—which is everyone who works for you. Between all of us, we're smarter than him."

Dane snorted, but he'd stopped leaning forward like he would keep going when she moved. She straightened and put a hand to his face. "We'll be careful at work, and we'll figure out the rest as we go. If there's an event…we'll figure it out. I have reasons to be there, Dane, remember that. With the job that I do, it would be odd if I wasn't. But that doesn't even matter because I want to be close to you." Her chest rose and fell too fast, but she had to break him out of this endless cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing. "Neither of us is going to be kissing other people. Don't give up, please, Dane?" she said.

He groaned her name and took her face in his hands, kissing her, walking her backwards into the wall next to the door. She threw her arms around his neck and gave herself up to the worship of his mouth, his lips, his tongue, the warm gentle fingers that slid up, under her top and squeezed her sides until she was pressing herself into him in embarrassing ways, aching for his hands to move.

"Yes," he whispered into her mouth. "For you. We'll make it work. I won't give up. I'm here. I'm here. God help us, I'm here," he said. Lila felt tears prick her eyes, but he was rolling his hips against her in a way that was very distracting, and she was beginning to wonder if she could climb him like a tree to get her legs around his hips—

The knock on the door was such a startling intrusion Lila threw her head back and snapped "You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

Dane had stopped moving against her, but his face was still buried in her neck. Then his phone buzzed.

Very, very slowly, as if he were on the edge of violence, Dane straightened, let her go and pulled his phone out.

"Fuck."

"What is—"

"You in there Dane?" It was a voice Lila didn't know. She looked at Dane.

He was looking at his phone, shaking his head. He raked his hand through his hair. "It's Josh," he whispered and stole a brief, gentle kiss. Before she could recover, he was on his way to the door.

"Dane! Your sweater!" she hissed. He froze and she ran to the other side of the room to grab it from where it had landed, twisted over her magazine rack.

She stifled a smile as she balled it up and threw it at him, catching a whiff of his scent—pine and spice—before he caught it one handed, shook it out and tugged it quickly over his head.

Lila then stepped into the kitchen so she was hidden from the door and hurried to straighten her hair, her clothes. Her cheeks were hot. As she heard him unlock and open the door, she wondered whether Dane was visibly…aroused. Did he have to hide behind the front door? She coughed a giggle.

"Yes, what is it?" he said, his voice steely.

"Sorry, sir." The voice was quiet. Submissive. "It's the one hour check. We have to verify her presence and wellbeing. And Chris is in the Penthouse, sir."

Lila stepped out of the kitchen and peered around Dane's shoulder to the young man she'd seen many times before, waving. "Hello, Josh. Is there a problem? We were just—"

"No, Miss Farris," Josh smiled, then caught a look from Dane and straightened his face. "We just needed to check you and let Mr. Daniels know there's been an intrusion at a Tier One home, so—"

"What?!" Dane snapped.

Josh's eyes widened. "It's why Chris is upstairs. He thought you were up there…he has to report."

Dane swore and turned. Lila would have sworn he was about to reach for her, to kiss her goodbye, but he pulled himself up short. "You'll be okay this evening?" he said, his tone clipped and cold again.

She grieved the warmth. The desire in him. "Yes. I'm fine."

"From now on, you take the cars. If there's a problem, you call me or Chris. We'll debrief tomorrow. We need to understand how we missed you so it doesn't happen again."

She nodded once, and so did he.

Then he was gone.

She waited. This day had been full of so many surprises she wondered if he'd come flying back in to kiss her. But he didn't.

Eventually she let herself fall onto the couch and groaned.

This secret love was going to be the most delicious kind of torture.