I’ll Take Care Of My Heart First Chapter 5
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Chapter 5 – A Land Called Sehar (2)
‘How am I supposed to accept this current situation? What am I to do?’
Her head was a whirlwind of chaos; thinking about her situation made her feel so confused and agitated, she was on the verge of bursting into sobs.
‘I bet there’s a big commotion there. It has been some time… I wonder how the kids are doing. I wonder if they are asleep? Are they be looking for me?’
Maybe not….
‘My existence, after all, was irrelevant.’
‘Nobody had ever missed me… Not even my own family’
Her heart broke and a hammering headache took over her as these melancholy thoughts came to mind.
‘I need to pull myself together. I need to focus on the now. She scolded herself. After all, this strange, new life in this unfamiliar land was all I have.’
The themes of the novels she had enjoyed reading often dealt with topics like possession, dimensional shifts and such; based on her knowledge of those, she felt confident that she could get by.
Perhaps, if she dared to introspect, she might find that she could be… happy.
‘I should be,’ she firmly told herself. ‘Not many people get to live new lives.’
Moreover, she was just twenty, she had her whole life ahead of her. She could do or be anything she liked.
‘Maybe god really took pity on me and gave me a new opportunity. Yes, I need to think of it as a vacation. If this is a novel, I can use it as a means to start a fresh!’
‘I might not be the heroine of the story, but I will live an equally awesome life.’
‘It is a waste of time to try to figure out if this was a novel or a shift in dimensions. I will live in the moment and take things as they come.’
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Filled with optimism and determination to make the best of the fate dealt to her, she could see the days ahead of her fill with excitement and adventure.
‘What should I do first? I should adapt, as quickly as possible.’
Amazingly, she was able to read the words and speak this world’s language, so the situation was under control.
‘Under control…’ the phrase cheered her up immensely. She was in control of her fate. She would choose what would happen to her from now on. She had never been religious but right now, her joy at realizing the full potential of this extraordinary gift, made her want to thank any god.
Strategizing, she decided her first and foremost task would be to adapt quickly to this situation. She would no longer dwell on why and how she got here.
After all, thinking about it wasn’t going to solve anything.
‘I should probably talk to the Count in person.’
Yellie, who had been cautiously observing Amethyst as she stood by, interrupted her thoughts as she asked, “Miss, just yesterday, you caused such a ruckus saying you wanted to get married, but now you don’t want to…what made you change your mind? The master went through so much trouble to find a suitable match for you and yet…perhaps do you not like the son of the Marquis of Crenson anymore?”
Amethyst, who had been resting on a luxurious couch placed in one corner of her bedroom, looked at her.
‘Since I’ve decided to make an effort and fit in, I should establish a rapport with the maid who attends to me.’
“I have no reason to like or dislike someone who I’ve never met before.”
“Then, is there anyone else you like? Considering your…age?” Yellie abruptly cut off her sentence, realizing she had blurted out her innermost thoughts.
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Sensing her delicate mention of age, it occurred to Amethyst that a 20-year-old woman, in this land called Sehar, is probably regarded as an old virgin, one that is nearing to be on the shelf.
She sighed.
‘Imagine the irony, when to me twenty feels like the prime of life!’
However, to Yellie, Amethyst replied with a deliberate carelessness, as if she were unperturbed by any of society’s conventions.
“Yellie, yesterday I had a… dream. It was an awfully scary dream.”
“A dream?”
“Yes. It felt more like a premonition. Or maybe it was a nightmare….it was so traumatic…I can’t tell you. However, that dream had cemented my resolve. I do not intend to get married any time soon. I hope you won’t mention marriage in front of me.”
“But… a dream is just a dream. What kind of dream did you have?”
For a moment, I wonder if she would believe me if I told her the truth.
‘That I was a thirty-six-year old woman married for eleven years.’
But she probably will brush it aside saying it was too absurd even for a dream. “Well…in any case, don’t even mention the word in front of me.”
Making it clear that she no longer wanted the conversation to continue, Amethyst closed her eyes and went back to her thoughts.
‘I wonder which one is the dream?’
‘The life of the thirty-six years old Heeyeon? Or the twenty years old Amethyst? Was one of them dreaming of the other?’
‘If this world was the real one and I really am Amethyst, then first and foremost, I need to resolve the issue of my impending marriage.’
Leaving Amethyst to her thoughts, Yellie quietly left the room.
Just as she had closed the door, Countess Lohikin, who had been wandering in the corridor in front of the room, hurriedly beckoned Yellie.
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“Yellie, did you manage to ask her? Why is Amethyst suddenly acting that way? I’m sure you remember just yesterday…”
Yellie waited patiently for the Countess to finish speaking and she replied hesitantly. “Well… Madam, she said she had a nightmare. And I think she thinks of it as a premonition.”
“A dream…?! A premonition? That’s it? So, did she share the contents of her dream?”
“No Madam, the lady didn’t share any more details.”
Sensing that the countess longed to press her for more details, Yellie excused herself saying that she knew nothing more and had something to discuss with the kitchen staff.
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