1 month later

What the most painless way to go?

I could jump off a high building, but what if the fall doesn't kill me? I’ll lay there with all my bones shattered, wallowing in pain. I could jump into a river and drown myself, but that seems like a slow and agonizing death. I could hang myself from a ceiling, hopefully, my weight could snap my neck, but I don’t want my father finding me like that. I don't want my dad finding me in any of these scenarios, I just want to disappear.

I shouldn’t even be having these thoughts, I never used to have them before. But these are the only thoughts that plague my mind ever since Vivienne propositioned me last month.

At first, their commands were small, childish even, testing the waters. Seeing how far I was willing to go. I was to do all their homework, all their projects, give them the correct answers on their tests. But then they became more demanding and risky over time. They made me sneak into the principal’s office and steal his phone (luckily wasn’t caught), or draw a penis with a permanent marker on the whiteboard. I got my first detention for that one.

At lunch I was cornered again and commanded to drink three glasses of something called Jack Daniel’s, that one was credited to Tanner. Before that, I’d never even had a sip of beer before, I threw up everything by the third glass and tried to keep from passing out as their laughter bounced all around me, staring down at the mess they created. On a later day, they commanded me to stand on one of the cafeteria tables and pour milk all over myself in front of the entire student body, I also got another detention for that one.

The most recent… task they had me do was say in front of the camera that “I’m a cheap whore who doesn’t charge for her…for her... pussy." I couldn't even say it without inwardly cringing, and they filmed it. I don’t know what the point of that one was, further blackmail I imagine. Saying the words left a foreign sour taste in my mouth, so vulgar and foul I felt disgusting saying it.

It was the most torturous month of my whole life. I’ve never had anxiety before now, not even at my old school, and I was bullied there too. But this school makes that one look like amateurs. Now my painful episodes have started again, and I get a panic attack at least once a day and in turn that triggers an asthma attack. I can never get a break. I am a clusterf*ck of nerves and paranoia, I wouldn’t be surprised if my hair was falling out now. I feel as though I’m on the constant verge of a mental breakdown. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I really don’t.

Even now poor dysfunctional lungs are exhausted and overworked from the stress of always trying to anticipate their next command.

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Once I get off the school bus I don’t go to my classroom or my locker, instead, I go to the parking lot where I know they’re waiting. They told me a month ago that they owned me now, and own me they did.

Yesterday Keenan demanded I meet them in front of his car today. When I arrive I see that everyone is there, even Allen, Keenan’s friend from anatomy that sat next to Tanner, and then I see him, in all his beauty, standing with his hands in his pockets and his back leaning against a very expensive muscle car. He wore a dark grey long sleeve shirt that clung to his every muscle and his mouth showed his shining white teeth as he laughed darkly at whatever Tanner was telling him.

I stopped several feet from them. I clutched the papers in my hand tightly to keep them from shaking. Simultaneously they all turn to look at me, Vivienne instantly frowns, Tanner has this shite eating grin, but worst of all was the terrifying gleam in Keenan’s eye. The one that told me he had something planned and I should be very very very afraid.

“H-Here’s your assignments for today,” I said holding out their papers.

Savannah snatches them from my hand and then starts handing them out like a teacher to who they belong to. Everyone seems satisfied with their assignments as they look them over. I took that as my initiative to scramble out of there. I’m not even two feet away when I’m stopped by Keenan’s harsh voice.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To… class?” I looked at him warily.

“Class is the least of your concerns right now. Get in the car.”

I felt my throat get clogged, “what?”

“Get in the car. Now.”

We’ve never left school grounds before when they wanted something done from me. Why is this time different?

“No- th-thank you,” I say taking a step back.

Suddenly I feel hands forcefully push me forward and I stumble… right into Keenan’s arms. I gasp when I feel electrifying shocks sizzling where my skin meets his. A tantalizing vibration that could be felt and almost seen between us. Immediately he yanked himself from me as if he’d just been burned. He gives me a look that makes my skin crawl.

“Get the fuck away from me.”

I don’t need to be told twice. I take a massive step back to elongate the distance between us.

“Get in.” He said through gritted teeth.

“But why?”

He took a threatening step forward, “stop asking questions. I said get. In. The. Fucking. CAR.”

He used his authoritative voice again, the one that always had me scurrying to do as he commanded. I open his car door with visibly shaking hands now. Vivienne clambers her way into the passenger seat, but not before shooting me a dirty look.

As he starts to drive out the school parking lot and down the road, the full weight of my actions set in and the pit of my stomach fills with dread and hysteria.

“WHERE ARE WE GOING?!”

This was it, this was where I was sacrificed, murdered, or kidnapped. Probably to beat me to death. I can already see the headlines in my mind's eye. 18-year-old female vanishes without a trace. Any and all evidence will be promptly erased and covered up in order to protect Keenan and his friends. My dad would never know what happened to me.

“LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT NOW!”

“Shut the fuck up Trailer Trash before I shut you up!” Vivienne threatened me. I try opening the door but it’s locked, I looked frantically around me and see that Tanner and the rest of them were following close behind in Tanner’s car.

We don’t drive very far, I’m surprised to see us heading closer to town rather than to some secluded road. I’m confused when I see us pull into a pretty public parking lot of a popular diner. There was a police car parked in there too.

“Get off.”

I take my sweet time getting out of the car, trying to stall whatever is about to happen. I do note that no one in Tanner’s car got off either, they just stayed seated, watching.

“What are we doing here?”

“Allen’s dad is the sheriff of the police department, he comes here every morning for breakfast, that’s his car right there.” Keenan said pointing to the police car, “you’re going to steal it.”

At this point, my mouth was hanging wide open and my eyes were probably bugging out of my head. “I’m going to do WHAT!?”

“Steal a police car.”

“No.”

“You will.”

“No! I can’t”

“You’ll do as I say.”

“No,” I shook my head furiously. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I won’t.”

Keenan’s jaw tightened as he gritted his teeth. “I wasn’t asking, if you don’t do this, I will do worse than just post your fucking nudes for everyone to see. I’ll ruin your fucking life.”

I shook my head, my face red and runny with snot and tears, “please don’t make me.”

Keenan only glared at me with his soulless black eyes and turned his lip up into a sneer. “Vivienne get my phone.”

Vivienne hands him a black object in his palm. “One call is all I need to make before Principal Anderson finds LSD and ecstasy hiding in your locker. All I’m asking is for you take it for a little joy ride then bring it right back. Easy. No one will notice and you won’t get caught.”

I shook my head, “I can’t”.

“A shame, it seems you don't care about reputation as much as you thought you did. If you don’t do it, I’ll get that meddling bitch Jean to do it. Is that what you want? For your only friend to pay for your mistakes? She’ll hate you, I’ll make sure of it.”

My breathing became heavier as I started to panic.

“You have five minutes to rob that car before I press send.”

“Okay! Okay I’ll do it!”

Keenan only smirks.

I won’t lie, I cried like a child the whole walk to the police car, standing just a foot away, I try opening the door but it’s locked. “I can’t open it. It’s locked!”

“There’s an extra spare of keys in the glove compartment. ONE MINUTE NOW!”

I begin to become frantic as I try opening every door to see if any of them are unlocked.

“30 SECONDS!!”

I spot a large rock on the floor, without thinking, I hurl it at the window. I scream as glass shatters everywhere and the alarm sounds off, alerting everyone in the area. Behind me, I can hear Keenan and them laughing hysterically.

Turning around I ran back to Keenan’s car, I see that everyone is seated back in their cars and filming the whole thing with their phones. Keenan’s laughter was the hardest of them all, with tears rolling down his face.

I can’t open his backseat door, they’ve locked me out.

“Have fun spending the night in jail Trailer Trash!” Was the last thing Vivienne shouted before Keenan stepped on the accelerator.

----------------------------------------------------

“What’s into you Angeline?! This is not you at all! You draw bad things on the board! You have two detentions! And now you break into cars?! Why you so out of control!? What’s happening to you!?”

I don’t respond. What could I say? I have no excuse. I can’t tell him what’s happening, I’d rather die than let my dad become Keenan’s next play toy. Keenan can do anything he wants to me, but I’ll never let him get his hands on my dad.

There’s no use telling him because I’m not naive enough to believe there’s anything my father could do, at least not against all of them. I love my father but he can’t protect me from him. No one can. I sit in my defeat and just I stifle my sobs and snot into the sleeve of my hoodie.

“Do you know what this is doing to me!? I can’t afford lawyer! I can hardly afford to bail you out! I don’t know what to do anymore!” His voice broke at the end.

I’ve never felt like such shit before, not even after everything’s Keenan’s done to me. I never wanted to hurt my father, but that’s exactly what I was doing. I’ve done nothing but cause him problems since we got here. He really is better off without me.

“What’s going on with you mija?!” A lonesome tear slid down his cheek.

Oh dad... you have no idea.