VICTORIA'S POV

It was awkward. Too awkward for my liking. ​​

Currently, I and Alexander were laying on the bed, side by side on our backs, looking at the ceiling, with an arms distance between us.

Turning my head, I looked at Alexander who looked no less uncomfortable than I am.

It was my fault, to begin with. Wasn't I the one who made things more awkward than they already were?

'Stupid Victoria!' I wanted to reprimand myself, but was it really of any use?

I wanted to ease this tension, but what am I supposed to do in a situation like this, when it was me who started it in the first place?

30 minutes ago~~

Entering the room, Alexander placed me on the bed and stood straight, looking at me with his ever so dazzling smile.

Smiling back at him, I sat Indian style waiting for his next move as I was feeling super nervous.

"Let me freshen up quickly, and then we can spend some time knowing each other before we sleep. Sounds good?" He asked, looking at me with that cute look that have me wrapped around his finger.

I was soo dazed looking at his face that I didn't even realise when I nodded.

It was not before I saw him taking off his coat, did I realise what he was doing.

"Hey! What are you doing? Put that on again!" I whispered yelled involuntarily, afraid that someone might hear me, not even knowing why I was having such a weird reaction to it.

"I am just putting off my clothes. Do you wish me to shower with my coat on?" He chuckled, but I wasn't hearing any of it.

"You can't take off your clothes in front of me, like that. How about, we sleep like this only?" I suggested.

"You are insane, Victoria." He chuckled again before he took off his pants, which made me shriek again.

"Why are you exposing your legs to me!! I am telling you, I'll beat you to death if you thought about doing anything with me. I swear to god I'll destroy your baby-making machine."

Geez! Victoria! Seriously?

"Calm down, Victoria. I am just going for a shower. Besides, aren't you exposing your legs to me for so long? Now you have a problem with mine?" He quirked his brows before picking up his clothes and throwing them in the basket.

Well, he does have a point. Wasn't I being sexist now?

"I...I...can you umm... Nevermind." I said before laying on the bed quizzically, not knowing what to say anymore.

Closing my eyes, I tried to relax and calm my nerves, thinking everything will be alright.

To be honest, I wasn't afraid that Alexander would do something to me. I was more afraid that be able to control my lusty bitch if I lose control of myself. I am having these lusty thoughts about him before I even knew that I was his mate. And now that I have a legit reason to make out with him, how can I talk myself out of it?

Hearing the click sound of the door opening, I instantly went still, pretending I was fast asleep when I felt him near me.

Feeling his hand on my bare thigh, I couldn't help but shriek in horror, as I felt pleasurable tingles shooting up my whole body, making me want to ask him to touch me more.

"What the hell are you doing?!!" I asked horrified.

"I...I thought you were asleep and wanted to cover you with the quilt." He said, with a cute confused look on his face.

Looking at the quilt in his hand, I laughed awkwardly and muttered a quick sorry before covering myself with the quilt, with only my eyes peeping through it.

Unlike other boys, he was considerate enough to wear a loose t-shirt and half pants after a shower and not come in front of me with a towel wrapped around his torso. That would've surely freaked out my lusty self.

~~present

"Umm...you said we will talk and we will try to know about each other.." I started, not wanting to bear with this awkward silence anymore.

'Victoria, he is your mate. What are you afraid of? It's not like, he will judge you because of your lusty thoughts. Wolves are meant to have those thoughts about each other. Just look it that way. You married the person you love. Won't you want to make love to each other, and show how much you love the other person? Besides, I am sure he is having a harder time than you and controlling himself around you because he is the alpha king, which means, his emotions and hormones are 10 times heightened than normal wolves.' Carla said in a soothing voice.

'Way to go Carla. You just told her that a slight movement from her might result in them bedding each other.'Joy scoffed before disappearing again.

Huh! Carla was kind of right. We love each other, we want to be with each other and have already accepted each other, then why am I making it harder for Alexander than it already is?

I need to control my anxiousness and fear. I know why this all was happening. It was because I was afraid he will leave just like everybody else did. Like my biological parents, my adoptive parents and even friends back home. I was afraid that I won't be able to take the pain if he ever leaves me, and maybe that's why I was trying to maintain this distance among us so that I don't get too attached to him.

But, if I keep acting like this, then what is the guarantee that he will be with me for the rest of his life?

Sighing loudly at my trail of negative thoughts, I looked at Alexander who was looking at me with a smile on his face.

"Sorry, I didn't catch you. What were you saying?" I asked.

"I said, you can change into track pants if that dress is making you uncomfortable. Don't you think your body will go stiff if you keep laying in the same position?" He asked.

Even after I yelled at him soo many times, he is still considering if I was feeling alright or not? I looked into his eyes that had nothing but true admiration, care and love, and could not help but wants to smack myself.

Sighing loudly once again, I scooted closer to him before placing my head on his chest.

I felt him going stiff for a second before he placed his hand on my waist.

"I think this position is the best," I said, looking up at him cheekily.

"Victoria, I know that this world is kind of new to you and you might be freaking out right now. But I promise I won't do anything to you unless you are ready about it. I can't guarantee occasional kisses and hugs, but I can guarantee you about everything else.

Besides, I know this mate thing is completely new to you and you don't exactly trust the mate bond but I promise, I'll treat you like a real husband for the rest of my life. Just look at it like our parents out us into an arranged marriage and now we are trying to find love amidst it. Mate bond or marriage or anything, you can call it whatever that you want, but I assure you, I will always love you and will be there for you." He said, looking directly into my eyes and I knew he meant every word of it.

"It's okay, Xander. I was just freaking out earlier. I don't mind you hugging or kissing me either. I know it must be taking a toll on you. If you would've gotten a werewolf mate than you wouldn't have to wait and suffer so much. Instead, you got a lantern who doesn't know anything." I said chuckling at the end.

"You are not a lantern Victoria. Lantern or werewolf or human. What matters to me is that love you, and I fuckin love you so much that I don't think I will ever get enough of you. Please don't leave me ever. I don't think I'll ever be able to bear with it. Besides, I am planning to have 8 kids with you. And I know if I tried anything, you'll destroy my baby-making machine, and that's the last thing I want to happen." He said, nuzzling his head in my neck.

"Eight is too much! I won't agree with more than two!" I said, not even realising that I git tricked by him into talking about that.

"Hey, you tricked me!" I shouted, making him laugh more than he already was, and just like that, all the tension disappeared.

"So what would you like to talk about, if not for that?" Alexander asked before pulling on my cheeks playfully.

"Anything is fine with me. Let's not talk about family background and the species background right now. It's complicated." I laughed, making him chuckle along with me.

"You will be the death of me," Alexander mumbled before bending his head slightly and pecking my lips.

Returning to his position he smiled at me with twinkling eyes and I won't be lying if I say, his eyes were looking extremely beautiful at that time.

However, gazing at his soft lips that touched mine so sweetly, I don't think I was happy with just a peck. Apart from that one kiss in the forest, he had only been giving me these small pecks and it always leaves me wanting more.

Shifting slowly, I raised myself, supporting my body with one hand and gazed into his eyes, before slowly bending my head and capturing his lips with mine.

And oh boy! How blissful it felt. I can think about my insecurities later, all I want to do right now was kiss the hell out of this man that belongs to me.

Kissing his lips softly, was the best feeling I have ever felt. Though we had kissed in the forest too, that rough kiss was nothing compared to this soft one.

Soon, I felt Alexander's hands, holding my waist, as he flipped us over before coming on top of me.

"Victoria, let's not do it. This is not the best time and situation for doing this." Alexander said, before nuzzling his face in my neck.

He had warned me, but was I taking it? No of course.

Arching my back, I placed my hands in his hairs before I nibbled on his neck and started sucking on it slowly.

"Victoria! I am warning you!" Alexander growled in his sexy bold voice, which almost turned me into a puddle below him.

"Just one more kiss." I couldn't help but moan before capturing his lips again.

Placing my hands on his back, I tried to hold his shirt in my hands, as I started to feel this insane hot bubble inside me that needed more than just a kiss.

Biting on his lips softly, I moaned before sucking on them. Alexander's condition was no better either. I felt his hands in my hairs and on my neck as he held me ever so gently.

Soon, I felt him grazing my lower lip, asking for entrance and I was more than happy to let him enter as I let him explore my mouth with his. And to say, this was the best feeling ever would be an understatement.

The hot bubble that I was feeling inside me, continued to grow as I arched my back wanting, no, needing more.

Wrapping my legs around his body, I pulled his body on top of me, making him lose his balance as he collided with me.

Not knowing what else I wanted and why wasn't I feeling the satisfaction that I thought I would feel after this one more kiss, I took Alexander's shirt in my hand. Before I could control my mind and action, I heard a tearing sound of the cloth, which was so loud in our quiet room, that it almost shocked me

Feeling his bareback with my hands, I clawed on him, as I pulled his face that was on my neck. However, before I could kiss him again, it was as if something snapped inside him after I touched his chest, he immediately rolled over from above me, before breathing heavily.

It was only after did Alexander rolled away, did I realise what I was doing.

I couldn't help but look at Alexander in horror,

"I...I...I am.." I wanted to apologize, however, before I could do that, I heard him chuckling softly.

"It was great, no?" He asked out of the blue.

"Umm..yeah." I couldn't help but mutter feeling shy.

"But, it was risky too. I don't think I'll be able to control myself if something like this happens again." He said honestly.

"I don't want you to control yourself, either." I smiled, realising for the first time what I wanted.

I wasn't feeling confused or muddle-headed anymore. It was as if this kiss finally made me clear with my conscience.

I loved this guy.

When I was kissing him, I had crossed his mental barrier more than once and realised how much he loved me too. Maybe it was the lovable thoughts that were going inside his head that pushed me to continue Kissing him so much that I couldn't even control myself anymore.

And I think, I am ready to let him enter my life completely now.