AARYN

As soon as he'd closed the door on Elreth, insisting that she go off to appoint Tarkyn, he regretted it. It seemed wrong not to be close to her, as if a piece of himself was missing.

Determined to do what was needed, he pushed himself back up the stairs to his mother's room. But as soon as he opened the door and found her so deeply asleep that she was snoring softly, he asked himself what he was doing.

He stood in the doorway, watching her prone form curled up on the bed, and his years as a pup swam back like they'd just happened yesterday. All the fear. The gut-twisting fear. The constant heart-pounding and headaches. The way he would startle at the smallest noise and barely be able to sleep, convinced that he had to be there, at her side, to save her from… whatever was eating away at her.

As a child he hadn't known any better. Having lost his father suddenly, he'd been convinced that his mother might die at any moment unless he watched over her. And when she didn't eat or drink unless he brought it to her, he'd thought it would be his fault if she died.

But standing there, facing the return of that life and the sickening pit in his stomach because of it… Now he knew…

He knew that all he had to anticipate in that moment was hours of anxiety, watching her in silence, while she slept and the world went on around him.

He wanted his mother well, and healthy, and present. But it struck him that he wouldn't get that by standing at her bedside, wringing his hands.

And it doubly struck him that she'd have no reason to get out of that bed as long as he stood next to it.

His heart quavered, that nameless fear of his youth looming over his shoulders, trying to convince him that his mother's life was in his hands.

But she wasn't going to die in the next couple of hours. He could go, be with Elreth while she appointed Tarkyn, maybe find a wise-woman to ask for help, and still be back before dinner to wake her if necessary and make sure she ate and drank.

He could do that. He should do that. It's what he would tell someone else to do.

Breathing quickly, he turned for the door, then stopped and turned back. Then cursed, and turned for the door again.

"Aaryn?" his mother's voice was faint and rough with sleep.

"Y-yes," he said, his body slumping. Of course he couldn't leave her. Of course he needed to stay in case—

"Son, please go," she said. "I want to sleep. I'd prefer to be alone. Go be with your mate. Bring me a meal later. But go. Don't sit here. You should be celebrating today."

Aaryn swallowed hard. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure…" she said, her voice growing quieter as she turned her back and snuggled back into the pillow.

A moment later her breathing became even again and Aaryn was staring at her back.

A moment after that he was trotting down the stairs, cursing at himself for the way his stomach clenched with guilt.

He would be two hours, that was all. He wasn't abandoning her. He was just going to be with his mate, and try to find a wise-woman for some advice.

Two hours. Three, tops.

He nodded to himself as he hit the bottom of the stairs and almost jogged across the room and out the door. Elreth would beat him to the training ground, but maybe that was better. He'd get to see her being Queen when she didn't know he was watching.

He could hardly wait.

*****

As he approached the clearing from the back-trail where he'd scented her beast the entire trip—and found more than one pawprint in the dust—he grinned. She'd been sloppy hiding her path through the woods. He would tease her later.

He crept up to the edge of the trees, hoping to watch for a few minutes before revealing himself. The winds were in his favor. As long as they didn't shift, none of them would scent him hiding in the trees.

He crouched behind a thick bush and peered around to find her.

Out in the field, a circle of soldiers stood, all facing inwards, watching Tarkyn… and Elreth.

They were sparring?

He blinked as Tarkyn spun out a knife-hand and almost took Elreth in the upper arm, but she twisted away like the cat she carried within her, laughing.

Again and again the two met, blocked, and danced apart, Elreth giggling every time—a sound that made Aaryn's heart sing, but also made something ugly twist in his stomach.

She was enjoying herself. Surrounded by other males—none of them completely dressed, all of them with smiles flashing—she cackled and hooted, teasing Tarkyn and taking his teasing in return.

Aaryn was not usually a jealous man. Even though Elreth hadn't been interested in him before, she also hadn't shown interest in other males. He'd always been the one with the closest relationship with her.

But as he watched her taunt and dance with this man that he knew to be a good, strong male, a man established in the Tribes and elders, and who could shift to his heart's content, Aaryn's own heart twisted.

He stood, no longer hiding, but uncertain if he would approach them, or return to the Tree City. His jealousy was ridiculous, he knew that. Yet, there it was, hot and heavy in his gut, screaming at him that another male was making his mate smile and laugh.

He wasn't sure when he'd started to walk towards them, but as Elreth spun, attempting to take his legs out, and he leapt to avoid her and they both laughed, and many of the soldiers clapped, Aaryn gritted his teeth.

He wouldn't say anything. He would just get close enough to be there when she told Tarkyn that he was Captain, and make sure the male didn't—

Aaryn froze.

The wind must have shifted, because suddenly Elreth stopped and her head snapped towards him, her eyes wide—fear? Or joy? But just as she turned, Tarkyn unleashed a thrust to take her in the chest and she left herself completely unguarded.

"ELRETH, WATCH OUT!" But he was too late.

The soldiers all hissed, or groaned as she was taken right in the chest and thrown off her feet with an almighty thud.