Si Ning sat by the table, throwing raspberries into his mouth and chewing it slowly just like he had been doing since Xiao Pei came back to inform him he had successfully escorted Xiu Junjie to his residence.

Cause the way Si Ning met things when he got to his room was the reason he told Ah Dai to get him a bowl of berries so that he would keep himself busy eating while waiting for Xiao Pei, hoping his mission of excorting the Crown Prince to be succesful and when Ah Dai came with a bowl of raspberries he was satisfied so he told Ah Dai to retire for the night.

No matter from the angle Si Ning could see their situation of sneaking out and successfully sneaking into the Palace, he could only interpret it as simple, it was too simple that they were not caught, even after Xiao Pei struggled to carry him, a full-grown man over the fence while Si Ning latched unto him just after he carried Xiu Junjie successful over the fence. They were able to hide from some few guards and that was it, it almost seemed like the palace defense had holes in them and the palace wasn't as safe as they thought. Si Ning knew he wasn't the only that thought it was odd even though Xiao Pei and Xiu Junjie didn't complain but it could seen written over their faces that everything went so smoothly also Xiu Zhicheng he had expected to be in his room waiting for him after Ah Dai was caught did not drop by which saved Si Ning from all the scenarios he had thought of that made his heart thumping loudly as they got closer to the Jasmine Palace. For the Emperor not to show up also saved Ah Dai that was drenched in sweat under the covers from the nerve wrecking hours he spent thinking the Emperor would walk in at any time.

Xiu Zhicheng not dropping by was a one in a thousand star luck which calls for a celebration yet Si Ning wasn't excited but dejected because he felt that Xiu Zhicheng just dropping once to see him was all the love he could afford. It made him sad that he was ahead of himself by thinking he was special for Xiu Zhicheng to take care of him throughout the night but he couldn't disregard it because as the Emperor he was capable of letting the best medical practitioners take care of him throughout the night but he took matters into his own hands.

"Does he love me or does he not." Si Ning said more like a whisper to himself as he threw another raspberry into his mouth. Eating so late when his stomach was already full was bad but he just wanted to keep his mouth busy.

It would be odd for him to ask Xiao Pei to go out and cut a twig with leaves so he could start plucking the leaves out while chanting 'does he love me or does he not' yet Si Ning wanted to try so he directed his gaze at Xiao Pei before looKing away, Xiao Pei was his guard and wasn't his servant, he had done much work by expending his energy while jumping over the fence so the least Si Ning could do was to spare him for the night so he picked a raspberry and placed it on the table.

"Does he love me?" Si Ning picked another one. "Does he not?" he said as he dropped it on the table. It was his means to just reassure himself that Xiu Zhicheng does love him.

It was quite a disappointment when the last raspberry was 'does he not' but it was just a childish game so Si Ning decided not to think much of it as he picked all the raspberries and dump them in the bowl. He just had few days left to get married, he was marrying to have the power to take care of his loved ones yet he was sitting at the table with a bowl of raspberries, his guard sitting opposite him while thinking if Xiu Zhicheng had feelings for him or not.

To settle his heart Si Ning knew the option he had was to summon the courage to go and see the Emperor because the Imperial Doctor would have told Xiu Zhicheng he was already feeling better so Xiu Zhicheng might not have any reason to see him anymore which might be the reason he didn't come over to the Jasmine Palace and if that was the case then it was up to him as the King Consort to go and meet the Emperor. He could go to see him to show his gratitude because it would be weird and disrespectful as the King Consort not to show his gratitude for being taken care of throughout the night by the Emperor and at that time he was going to ask if Xiu Zhicheng have any sincere feelings for him.

He was starting to have different thoughts and not accepting any conclusion he arrived at and it was all Xiu Zhicheng's fault to make him feel this way, first, he concluded that Xiu Zhicheng loves him, and next he started to doubt it. Was that how love was? He could still remember that his relationship with Liu Ting wasn't like that, they never fought nor did he ever feel insecure, it went so smoothly that he was happy, if he missed their date all he had to do was to apologize and Liu Ting would accept him, he acted spoilt while complaining about Liu Zhicheng and Liu Ting would only cajole him while telling him to see the bright future ahead, it was the sweetest relationship he had ever been in, he didn't cheat on Liu Ting but he used to get tempted when he sees someone that looked attractive to him but with Xiu Zhicheng it was all different, he was lusting at his body that he didn't even try to see the people around him.

The weak feeling that was blooming in his heart made Si Ning feel quite pitiful, if he was going to fall in love with someone then the least he could expect was for them to have a tiny bit of feeling for him. He decided to disregard the thought of going to see the Emperor, he doesn't want to compete with the Concubines to gain the Emperor's affection so whatever feelings he had for Xiu Zhicheng he was going to kill it because it wasn't healthy for him, love was a beautiful thing but it wasn't a simple relationship which means he doesn't need to be weak and be at the mercy of Xiu Zhicheng. As General Si Ning, a man of his own principles he was now going to live the way he want and stop caring about Xiu Zhicheng.

Bam!

Unknowingly Si Ning hit the table when he concluded his jumbled thoughts just to prove to himself that his heart wasn't chaotic

"Should I go and rinse it?" Xiao Pei asked. "The raspberries." He added.

Si Ning shook his head, he had started to feel a little bit uncomfortable so it was better to stop eating. "So tell me about the house of fragrance?" He finally asked the question he wanted to ask that he had to keep Xiao Pei from leaving. It was time for him to talk about something to distract him from thinking about Xiu Zhicheng.