Damar knows that this girl is starting to cry while burying her face in her blanket.

"I have just found the inspiration for my new song, you know." He tries to joke around to soothe the crying girl beside him.

​​

But the girl doesn't even budge.

"You can try to find another dream. But if you can't let it go, you can selfishly fight for it. After all, everyone has their own rights to get what they want." The guy starts to give her advice and Aruna starts to show her face."

"I have passed that phase. If I were still able to write a novel, I wouldn't be like who I am now."

The statement makes Aruna curious.

...Actually, I also have other goals aside from my inability to write…

This statement distracts her from her own sorrow and she observes the weird guy in front of her curiously. She wants to know why Damar suddenly changes.

"Everyone has to keep on walking, no matter how difficult your life is. You and me, or anyone, shouldn't stop in the same position unless we want our lives to be over." Damar seems to understand Aruna's condition.

"Have you ever experienced it? Why are you unable to write again?" She looks at Damar straight in the eye.

"Of course. When I ran away from Jakarta for a while, I was experiencing turmoil inside of me. I will tell you one day, but not now." Damar strokes Aruna's hair to muffle her curiosity.

"Why can't you write again?" Aruna doesn't want to let the question go unanswered.

"Every artist has their own muse as inspiration or visualization from their works; writings, songs, paintings, or any other form of art. When the muse changes, then his arts will also change. And the worst part is when he is no longer able to make art."

_Including me_. Damar smiles at Aruna's confused face.

"You might know Ahmad Dhani. His songs were poetic. Roman Picisan, Separuh Nafasku, Risalah Hati when he used his then girlfriend-turned-wife as his muse. And now, you can't see his poetic side because he changes his artistic muse to another woman. His songs were suddenly changed, 'Sedang Ingin Bercinta, Makhluk Tuhan Paling Seksi'. His songs are changed 180 degrees."

"The good part is that he can still make art with another muse. But, I can't." Damar lies down and ponders at the sky glittered with stars.

"The most important thing now is that you have to make yourself happy… It's okay to be a little bit selfish."

…I'm also selfish for wanting you endlessly…

"I've been selfish… If I were the old Aruna, I wouldn't be here now."

… I would have put others before me, even him who doesn't treat me right… Aruna follows him to look at the sky.

"Damar, after this, I think we shouldn't meet again." The statement catches him by surprise. He takes Aruna's face who is lying down beside him.

"But now, I don't have anyone to talk to. I can't be honest with my sister, Dea, or Lili. Don't even mention the others. Only you who know the truth since the beginning."

"How can I tell Dea when I'm treated badly, she will be miserable and even more badly than me."

"Moreover Kak Alia, she will be haunted by her guilt."

"I'm so sorry. I could only run to you when I couldn't bear it anymore."

Aruna remembers the hurt that she felt when she was forced to kiss the blue-eyed man. Didn't he realize that she was just only 20 years old? She isn't mature enough to accept those things easily.

Damar holds Aruna's hands and locks their eyes under the same stars.

"I'm going to hold my words."

"Run to me whenever you want, because I will always be waiting for you at the same place."

… Waiting for you to get away from him… The weird guy mumbles and his face is getting closer.

"Isn't it wrong, Damar?"

"It is if your marriage is real."

"My marriage and our relationship, both of them don't make any sense. So, it's the same."

Without her knowing, the man beside her is getting closer. He strokes her hair and his eyes are staring at her intently. Ah, Aruna realizes that this gaze is similar to someone when he needs something. Hendra always looks at her this way whenever he wants to kiss her lips or cheeks. Aruna pushes Damar as strong as she can and runs downstairs quickly.

Looking for a taxi that can take her home.

"Aruna, I won't do anything that you don't want." The guy finds Aruna who is waiting for the online taxi.

But the girl doesn't want to talk. She even moves away from his grasp.

… Why is she so scared of me when I haven't done anything yet…

"I'll take you home. Let's go!"

But Aruna refuses. She lets go of her hand Damar's grasp.

The guy grabs both of her hands, trying to knock some sense from the girl in front of him, "I don't know what trauma you've been going through. Get a grip on yourself! I won't do anything that you don't want… I'm not like him."

"Don't be like this. You are making me miserable."

"Sorry." Aruna releases herself just as her taxi arrives to bring her away from the singer of Rona Kemerahan. The guy starts to scream, run after the taxi, and even successfully bangs on the window. But eventually, the taxi leaves him behind.

***

Aruna

As time goes by, the weirder my life is.

If he treated me well and didn't do anything weird, I might not have involved Damar. I have asked Damar to leave my life.

Unfortunately, I don't know whom I can talk to just to release some tension. Everyone seems too far away. It's not their fault though, it's my situation that vastly changes.

Just like his people who look at me with judging eyes, the other people will think that I'm a bad person who cheated on his boss with another man.

They just didn't know the way that guy treated me since the beginning.

How he came to force me to marry him and then asked for divorce even when we didn't know each other. He treated his fiancee as someone troublesome, stalked her without feeling remorse. He banged on my front door but then hurt me with his sharp tongue. He even cornered me in front of my friends, dragged, and locked me up to clear his name in front of the public.

They just didn't know, I'm still grasping for my sanity because of being married off at a young age. He doesn't even give me a chance to talk.

Every time we talk, no matter what topic it is, the end will always be counting his gains and losses. About the compensation that I have to pay off or that I need to agree to his terms.

Who's the bad guy? Is it me or him?

How can I face the crazy CEO? Is it wrong for me to be afraid of him, the one who always stares at my lips with his sharp gaze?

Do I have to melt to his sweet voice then agree to all his wishes, although the same mouth is able to mock me sharply?

He will see, I won't submit to him, I am not his plaything. I will fight for my own life, even though I am a bit selfish. Because everyone has their own rights to get what they want in life.

***

"Let's go." Hendra opens the Rolls Royce door for Aruna.

A couple is smiling at them to greet the newlyweds that they have been waiting for. Aruna gets up from the car, slightly unstable because she isn't used to wearing the wedges. It's not high heels, but the girl isn't used to wearing such things and is more comfortable wearing sport shoes, whether it's sneakers or Vans.

Watching her struggling with her balance, the man beside her puts his hand on the small of Aruna's back to steady her. Hendra patiently holds Aruna who is trying to climb slowly the stairs of Riswan and Camilla's official household.

The two couples shake hands. Obviously, Hendra looks more dominant with his tall posture and his more than average visual. He speaks eloquently while looking at his partner in an understanding manner. He introduces Aruna politely. It's a whole different man from whom she knows on a daily basis.

… Does he have multiple personalities?...

***

"How are you feeling now?"

"It's better now."

"Ask me if you need anything else! I'm not as good as Dr. Diana, but I'm also a psychiatrist. Although I'm just starting my career, I graduated with cum laude, so I'm qualified to assess your problem." The woman smiles at him.

"Does the drug contain benzodiazepine - sleeping pills?" Hendra asks.

"Of course not. We've been studying your personality over time, and we know you don't want to take anything that contains benzodiazepine. You can read it yourself, the medicine I give is Amitriptyline." The young doctor explains

Hendra just nods his head hearing her explanations.

(Amitriptyline is an antidepressant drug. This drug can help to lift your moods, relieve anxiety, boost energy, and help you rest.

Aside from people who are in treatment for depression, amitriptyline is also used to treat eating disorders, pain due to herpes zoster infection, and prevent migraines.

Amitriptyline helps to maintain serotonin and norepinephrine levels balance in the central nervous system. Thus, the brain's performance will improve and the symptoms of depression will gradually decrease).

"If you don't need anything else, please excuse me."

.

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