Chapter 248: Chapter 248

.

It was what I already anticipated; however, once it turned out to be true, I felt bitter somehow. That was when I heard Yi Ruda’s voice again.

I raised my head. The tips of Yi Ruda’s long, downcast lashes glistened in the light.

“I ran away from my mother to never become a person like her, but, ironically, I’m using everything that I’ve learned from my mother to escape from her.”

“…”

“So was today. If I didn’t learn something like this, I would have not succeeded in sneaking into this event. I’m not a person allowed to enter such a place like this…”

Uttering those words, she looked strangely depressed.

After hesitating for a while, I was about to put my hand on her shoulder. She then suddenly lifted her head, saying, “I saw you guys.”

“Huh?”

“I saw you, Yoon Jung In, and the Kim twins here…”

Oh… I nodded my head.

It made sense since Yi Ruda went upstairs and came into this place after I met those three; therefore, if she glanced around the banquet hall at that time, she would have possibly seen the three of us together.

Suddenly, I tried to ask, ‘Why didn’t you come and talk to us?’ but just shut my mouth as it was making a mistake to her. Yi Ruda always dressed like a boy at school, so she could hardly do that when she was wearing a female outfit tonight.

That was when she answered back.

I lifted my eyes.

“I was too pathetic.”

“What?”

Squatting on the floor with her eyes cast down, Yi Ruda quietly twisted her head to slip off her hair. She then continued her remark.

“People are bound to live as they have learned. I used that as an excuse for camouflaging myself with lies in the classroom or at a party like this. Honestly, I felt a little relieved to enter this hall since everyone in this place would act and behave differently than usual. That was when I saw you guys…”

Yi Ruda grimaced as if she was feeling pain. She then covered her face with her hands.

“But you guys were just the same as usual whether it was in the classroom or a place like this…” she murmured.

“…”

“Anyway, I couldn’t go talk to you guys since I was in this outfit, but although I dressed like a boy, I could hardly say hi to you guys.”

‘Yi Ruda…’ I murmured to myself again.

Hunching her shoulders for a second, she then lifted her head. Her eyes reddened as if she was about to cry. Yi Ruda then averted her eyes from me and kept on speaking while looking embarrassed.

“I’m not a good person to hang out with; besides, I will put you guys in danger. Maybe what Yoo Gun, the asshole, said could be true. I mean, I don’t know why I’m here in the first place.”

She was telling a sad story. It definitely sounded bitter, but she was rather smiling as if she felt hilarious to pour out such things.

I suddenly realized that Yi Ruda right now, who was just smiling clumsily to cover up her pain, could be the closest to her true nature.

I then thought about Woo Jooin, who was, strangely, being fond of Yi Ruda while calling her ‘hyeong.’ Perhaps Jooin might be the first to have a penetrating insight into Yi Ruda’s true color with his keen eye. As a person who was always the first to grasp other’s wounds, Woo Jooin would have noticed whom Yi Ruda really was.

Besides, smiling upon a hurtful, troublesome or angry situation was, none other than, Jooin’s way to confront the circumstances. Thus, if he had taken the hint of a person in the same kind…

When I had that thought in mind, Yi Ruda got up from the floor out of the blue. She dusted off her purple dress roughly and adjusted her hair then turned around to look at me.

She quickly returned to the perfect lady that she had been earlier. Stretching out her hand to me, Yi Ruda then suggested, “Come on, hold mine to get up.”

Being hesitant for a second, I soon grabbed her hand and stood up. It was a firm grip.

I wanted to add something more, but she seemed eager to avoid this situation as soon as possible.

Staring at me with her smiley, turquoise eyes, Yi Ruda turned around slowly and said, “You look pretty, Donnie.”

“Oh.”

I never thought about hearing that compliment, which I heard multiple times today, from Yi Ruda.

Looking at me, who was blushing for a moment, Yi Ruda added with a faster voice than usual.

“Well, I’ve seen you tonight, so I’m gonna say this is it… although today I committed unprecedentedly the stupidest thing ever…”

That was when she dropped her gaze at the floor and said, ‘I came here because it looked dangerous for you, but thankfully, this place seems too secure…’ I held out my hand and grabbed hers with a rush.

Yi Ruda looked at me as if she was feeling dumbfounded. Taking a deep breath, I continued to speak.

“Ruda.”

“Huh?”

“You told me that you don’t know why you’re here, but I’m glad to see you in this place.”

A moment of silence went by. Blinking in perplexity, she then asked back, “Excuse me?”

“I said, I’m glad that you’re here.”

She then smiled bitterly again. Slowly taking my hand off from hers, she replied, “No, it’s not a good thing. Didn’t you hear what Yoo Gun said earlier?”

Heaving a sigh, she continued, “If my identity is revealed, I can’t guarantee you guys any safety against getting involved in my situation. What I did was ridiculous. It was such a crazy––”

I cut in with a remark.

“But I thought all day that… I wished you were here.”

Yi Ruda’s eyes opened wide.

Staring at her eyes, I slowly brought up the thoughts that I had from the moment I first met her to until now.

“Since everyone was here, I kept thinking about you. That’s why I’m so glad to see you right now.”

“…”

“Other kids will also like that you’re here.”

As I pretended to scan her overall look, I added, ‘Hmm, Yoon Jung In would love it in other ways.” Yi Ruda then slightly frowned but soon showed a smile.

Stretching her hand out to gently pinch my cheek, she replied, “It would have been better to omit the last sentence.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But why did you say so?”

She softly shook my cheek and released it, then spoke in a low voice while looking a little worn out.

“Now I come to think of it, you’ve contrived to speak confidently in front of Yoo Gun that you’ll keep being my friend.”

“Huh?”

“That bastard is too frightening for someone to refuse his words like that. No one really does that while confronting him.”

Slowly shaking her head, Yi Ruda continued, “You saw him earlier, right? His face looks so decent to have that frosty glare.”

Oh… only then did I nod my head at a slow pace, thinking, ‘Yes, it was also freaking me out, especially, when I saw Yi Ruda and Yoo Gun quarrelling.’

Squinting her eyes a little, Yi Ruda kept on, “You could have just said okay since the bastard holds grudges…”

Listening to his remark, I quietly shook my head. Of course, I had thought about the most suitable response to Yoo Gun. Now that I got to confessing about it, Yoo Gun was sincerely terrifying. If he asked me with a grin to disclose my secret, I might have created one upon having nothing to say so and told him everything that I could.

In this regard, what Yi Ruda just said made sense. It was like how to better get on in the world.

But… With an awkward smile, I answered back.

“That’s true but… I thought it should be said at that moment.”

Blinking swiftly, Yi Ruda tilted her head.

“What?”

I continued with a small voice.

“For some words… I came to think of it that the moment of speaking might be more important than the word itself.”

Lowering my voice, even more, I added, ‘Especially today, I thought about that quite frequently––We live by that very moment to hope for tomorrow.’

I kept on, “If I were you, I would have gotten heartbroken when I spoke like that although I knew it was made up out of fright.”

“…”

“That was why I told him the truth…”

When I said that, it sounded a little strange as if I picked some song lyrics such as ‘love is timing.’

Wriggling my fingers, I lifted my head. As soon as I tried to add a few words in hesitation, I struck dumb to find Yi Ruda’s reddened eyes.

Looking up at me with her rosy eyes, Yi Ruda looked so beautiful that she almost dropped my heart. There was a big flutter inside me.

I then quickly shook my head and barely got myself together, thinking, ‘No, she’s a girl just like me.’

Yi Ruda even dressed like a young lady, but why was my heart racing?

At that moment, her lips slightly moved.

“Why aren’t you giving me an answer?”

The voice that came out of her mouth sounded thick.

“Huh?”

When I asked back, Yi Ruda continued her remark while slowly lowering her head. Oh, lord… even her downcast eyelashes looked so gorgeous.

“At the retreat… when I kissed you on the cheek.”

“Oh…”

“Why didn’t you answer back?”