Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm Chapter 3
Advertisement
Due to deal restructure text to speech player is currently unavailable. Will find a solution soon.
Chapter 3: 3
Wang Zhong, the village head of Jinyintan Village was balding and on the plump side with a belly… but was also quite tall .
He was also one of the more competent people in the village, and was a chief labor contractor before assuming his present position as village chief, having taken up many projects within the city and across the province . Many other villagers had worked together with him as well .
Then, after becoming the village chief in the previous year, Wang Zhong had handed all the construction work to his son .
But at present, reflected beneath the ‘streetlights’ of his roof was a big wolfdog . It was rolling around, shrieking wildly as it foamed at the mouth… which kept bubbling as it poured outward .
“Are you alright, Chief Wang?”
Jiang He’s voice wafted from beyond the yard even as he slapped on the front gates loudly .
“What’s wrong, Old Wang?”
Old Wang’s wife had come out of the house as well after straightening her clothes, and was left stunned by the sight before her . “Could it be epileptic?” She quickly asked . “Q-quick, we have to call a vet . ”
“Nonsense!”
Wang Zhong scowled as he rebuked her . “How could a dog be epileptic? Go open the gates—who could it be in the middle of the night!?”
2
But even as he cursed, he was only staring at the rolling dog without going to it for a closer look .
With Dumbo acting like that, what if it bit him out of a moment of madness?
1
Hence, he went back inside to find his phone and was ready to call a vet when he heard his wife open the front door, saying, “Oh, Xiao Jiang! You could have told us you were coming… You’ve even brought a gift with you?”
Even as she spoke, she was reaching out to take the plastic bag Jiang He was holding .
The same plastic bag which was carrying the meat Jiang He had just bought .
Jiang He: “???”
“Madam Wang,” he answered, tightening his grip over the bag . “I was just passing by after visiting the butcher’s shop… that’s when I heard Dumbo shrieking loudly . Oh, right, is Chief Wang alright?”
Advertisement
1
“Eh?”
Wang Zhong’s wife left her hands hanging mid-air, unsure how to continue the conversation right then .
Wait…
Why was her husband suddenly dragged in?
By then, Jiang He had already dashed up to Wang Zhong’s side .
Then, after just a single glance at the wolfdog that was rolling around, its cries getting softer and was breathing out more than in, he exclaimed, “Oh no, Chief! Your Dumbo must have been poisoned! ”
6
“Poisoned?”
Wang Zhong asked, taken aback . “What do you mean, poisoned?”
“According to my observation, it must be rat poison!”
6
Jiang He stayed calm as he drew out a cucumber with a turn of his hand, snapped it in half and crushed it in his hand, before ignoring all else as he stuffing everything down Dumbo’s throat .
Only then did Wang Zhong pull him and yelled, “What the hell are you doing, Xiao Jiang?! What did you just feed Dumbo?”
“A cucumber . ”
4
Holding the remaining half of the cucumber, Jiang He bit a mouthful off with a loud crunch . The sweet scent from it wafted out, with Wang Zhong sniffing it before cursing, “Do you take me for an idiot? What cucumber is yellow, and so huge?!”
4
That was certainly true: the half-piece of cucumber in Jiang He’s hand was larger than anything in the vegetable store—it was large, yellow, and smelled so sweet .
“Cucumbers are yellow . What other color could they be, black?”
11
That was when Dumbo leaped up from the ground with a whine, shaking its fur energetically before darting back inside its fence .
1
“???”
Wang Zhong was left bewildered, but just as he was about to press Jiang He, the other man waved him off, saying, “Chief Wang, Madam Wang . I still have things to do so I’ll get home first . ”
Even though he looked impassive, he was actually very excited!
“It really works as an antidote! Still, the rat poison is highly toxic but it only counts as normal poison… I wonder if the cucumber works against poisons like the Crane’s Red Crown or the Seven-Step Intestine Cutter?”
9
When Jiang He reached the gates, he turned around to look at Dumbo behind its doggie fence, getting another idea . “I remember a pesticide called paraquat which is even more poisonous . Any human drinking it wouldn’t survive even if they reached the hospital in time and had their liver cleaned . Let’s get our hands on a bottle to try . ”
Advertisement
10
Behind its fence, Dumbo suddenly shuddered and whined softly .
2
Meanwhile, Wang Zhong had walked up to the fence and stared at his own dog for over ten minutes .
He looked more blank now when he saw that there was nothing wrong with Dumbo at all now .
…What actually happened just now?
First off, Dumbo had a stroke .
Then, Jiang He ran in and fed it half a… let’s call it a cucumber for now .
And after that, Dumbo had recovered .
“Rat poison?”
“How could that brat tell Dumbo had rat poison? Hold on… there’s no rat poison in my house, is there? Could that brat be still nursing a grudge over Dumbo biting it last time, and tried to poison it?
1
“Wait, that’s not right either…
“If Dumbo really ate rat poison, how could it be saved with just half a stick of cucumber?
Wang Zhong was mumbling even as he returned inside his house, and suddenly asked, “Dear, could you get us a cucumber?”
6
***
On the other hand, Jiang He had finished the remaining half of the cucumber on his way home .
“My digestion must have strengthened considerably after ascending as a Quasi Martial Artist . I must have absorbed most of the cucumber’s attributes as well, which is why I don’t feel stuffed after a while . ”
2
He felt that he could take in another cucumber .
6
That being said, after eating two-and-a-half in one night, he really couldn’t eat them raw anymore .
2
After cooking some rice and making a cucumber coleslaw, Jiang He picked up his phone, sweeping through short video clips on his phone .
Suddenly, his eyes straightened as he exclaimed in surprise, “Isn’t that Two Dog Li?”
1
“He’s having a livestream?”
Two Dog Li’s real name was Li Fei, and he came from the same village as Jiang He .
And in Jiang He’s memory, they were grade schoolmates, but Two Dog Li dropped out right after finishing grade school—his old man had bought over three hundred goats, and had him herd them around .
Back then, their classmates had mocked Two Dog Li, and were naturally surprised that by the time they finished high school and university afterward, he had become a breeder with some local fame .
And now, he founded a breeder’s union for livestock, rearing hundreds of cows and thousands of goats to earn a yearly income worth seven-figures, affording him BMWs and taking a refined woman as his wife .
1
When Jiang He clicked into the livestream, he found Two Dog Li broadcasting live inside his own farm .
1
He was standing in front of a small tractor and beaming at the camera . “Brothers, wasn’t I having a fever just a few days ago? It turns out that I have gained unlimited power after my fever broke—here, let me present a one-hand tractor lift!”
Extending his hand, he grabbed hold of the massive wheels of the tractor, and with a burst of strength…
1
The whole tractor leaned sideways .
Then, in the next split second…
Beep!
The screen went dark .
[Apologies . The livestream you were watching was suspected of rule violation and has been closed for the moment . ]
19
Jiang He: “…”
The livestream was gone .
After half a beat, Jiang He let out a long, drawn out breath and muttered, “It seems the revival of Spirit Qi has reached its peak . And according to Two Dog Li, he had suddenly become overflowing with power after his fever broke after a few days . Could it be…”
One word came to Jiang He’s mind right then—awakening!
“Let’s wait until tomorrow morning . I’ll go to Two Dog’s breeder’s union and ask about it . ”
2
Dinner and washing the dishes—the life of a bachelor was very dull and boring .
Before going to bed, Jiang He suddenly remembered there was still half a bag of corn seeds back home .
Grabbing a handful, he went out to the orchard and planted one seed after into the soil .
“I wonder if my own crop seeds would change after I plant them now… Oh, wow, what was that?”
“After planting his corn, Jiang He sensed something unusual behind him, only to find a pair of oily green eyes staring at him in the dark night .
“Arf!”
“Dumbo?”
9
Advertisement
- In Serial10 Chapters
Storm of the Elementals
The apocalypse was something that people were expecting to happen sooner or later, rising sea levels and everything. What our protagonist didn't expect was it to be from a system, let alone the fact that he missed it. Waking up as an elemental and being given frighteningly little info from a system that seemed a little off , stuck with 3 other eccentric individuals that he could almost swear are a bit dodgy, and not being quite sure he was human anymore, it was the start of a long day. It only got longer when he found out he was moved to a whole different world. ~ This is a slow burn story, focusing on the world and what happens if an eccentric historian gets transported in a world with systems and power that are not quite meant for him. ~ Some things you can expect: -No harem, god no. -Yes the protagonist is strong, no he isn't completely OP. -Other people who have been changed, he isn't the only special or chosen one who got transported or messed with. -It is sad to actually have to put this here, but the main character does shockingly have common sense.
8 173 - In Serial13 Chapters
Shadow the cat
Shadow is very cool. HE IS THE BEST CAT EVER IN THE HISTORY OF CATS. Fortunately he is getting lots of attention and pets from his humans. Unfortunately he got dropped into a different world fortunately he got dropped-claws first-into weakened end boss on one hp and got to level 999 and became the end boss himself. He doesn’t know what that means. P.s: This is my first time on royal road P.s.s: I am writing this for enjoyment don’t expect too much chapters at a time P.s.s.s: anything said about dogs is not true I love them
8 180 - In Serial18 Chapters
What?! The world outside the village is full of villains.
Saulo Delanova is a young Amish. He doesn't use electricity, travels by horse and carriage, and eats what he sows in a community with a traditional lifestyle, rural and voluntarily separated from modern society. A community that for foreign eyes is frozen in time. When he decides to experience the modernity that he heard so much about the cities outside of his region, a theft forces him to stop on his way to the capital city. The situation would be manageable if it weren't for a detail. In his community they live under the principles of nonviolence! In a world where each being is born with an identifying color, can summon a weapon and fight with the power of the elements -or what is known as trinity or three characteristics of a user-, villains abound because of this power that each person can easily use. Ignorant of the life in the country's most important city, Saul will have to face culture shock to adapt to this outside world unknown to him, and to the people and events that will make him fall into the bowels of the world of temptations. Cover illustration by Demizu Posuka, illustrator of Yakusoku no Neverland (The Promised Neverland).
8 172 - In Serial7 Chapters
The Colour of Steel
Isidrian belongs to the lowest class of citizens in Verdante - Merchants. With his home at risk from the heavy war-time taxes his family has faced for years, he seeks a way to return his family to the wealth they once enjoyed. Little does he know what legacy his estranged travelling-merchant father has left for him...
8 109 - In Serial43 Chapters
Unchained
When a young witch is thrust beyond the veil and into an active revolution, she must fight both for her own survival against a secretive government agency bent on eradicating magic, and with her own morality as the lines between revolution and terrorism start to blur. After all, what wouldn't you do to save yourself? Unchained is a story about loyalty, revolution, and the sacrifices we make for both.
8 135 - In Serial24 Chapters
YouTuber Ego Oneshots & Imagines (REQUESTS CLOSED!)
Hi there! I wanted to keep some writing going, and thought that maybe you guys would like a set of Ego imagines. I'd love to start writing some, and I'd love to have you guys enter a few in! I only have three rules (so far, lol) and anything else is cool. -I don't do smut.-I don't do romanticized abuse or pain.THESE STORIES ARE ORGANIZED ALPHABETICALLY UNDER 'FILES'.
8 215

