The Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels are a series of New Fable genre novels that involve cats and dogs and high adventure and romance and espionage and food-fights and hotels and explosions and car chases.

With large casts, exotic locations and an absurdity only possible in the absence of human characters, the Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels blend Wind in the Willows with James Bond, though with more cafes and fewer badgers.

This submission is the third title in its Morigan Trilogy, beginning two-thirds of the way through the series' longest adventure yet.

Here's a quick recount of what's happened so far:

When Oscar Teabag-Dooven, a Velvet Paw of Asquith, is ordered to investigate how a mysterious poet, the Ar'dath-Irr, is able to travel instantaneously around the world, two very bad things happen. Firstly, he meets Lydia, an insane librarian who punches everyone in the face, and secondly, the Ar'dath-Irr reveals he is intent on taking over the world. Although this second thing might be considered worse than the first, Oscar feels differently following Lydia’s destruction of a cafe, a library and his face in one afternoon. In comparison, thwarting world domination just seems easier.

Along with Binklemitre, a fellow Velvet Paw of Asquith, and Lydia, Oscar infiltrates the Ar’dath-Irr’s realm of dark poetry to discover the dog not only intends wrenching the world apart but has no intention of cleaning up afterwards. As a result, Oscar decides it’s all too hard and goes home to have a bath. After lots of arguing and the sort of food fight that posh restaurants were invented for, Lydia and Binklemitre convince him that they must stop the Ar’dath-Irr for several reasons, one of them quite serious.

A vibrant cast of characters collide as Oscar, Lydia and Binklemitre battle the Ar’dath-Irr and his disciples in an adventure involving exploding cafés and appalling hotels, car chases and inadvertent surgery, dreadful poetry, lots of arguments and at least one temper-tantrum, all of which draw the three into dark and convoluted corners of a world they weren’t aware existed. Moreover, any chance of sitting down and discussing things over some buns disappears when Lydia punches the Ar’dath-Irr in the face. This results in her having a psychotic episode and Oscar getting run over by an ambulance. Although Binklemitre suffers neither, he witnesses both, which is almost as dreadful, though not nearly so messy.

An enormous battle ensues, followed by a dinner party and then everything explodes.