Come one, come all to the grand reveal of MavraCorp’s Greatest Golem to date!

Introducing; The Perfect Boyfriend System (Perfect Girlfriend System to be released shortly)

For only 6 easy payments of 99$ you can get a brand spanking new lover, with none of the awkward stuff!

He cooks, he cleans! (For legal reasons we must note that the Perfect Boyfriend Golem must be taught to clean and cook, and does not come with instinctive janitorial/culinary ability.) He doesn’t leave you for that rat, Susan! …ahem.

Powered by only the most cutting edge of golem runology, your Boyfriend will evolve and learn as he lives. Under your (hopefully) caring hand he will grow to something extraordinary! Who knows, maybe with your help he’ll even become sentient… nah.

MavraCorp is not responsible for any deaths, injuries, or general destruction caused by Perfect Boyfriends.

[For an additional payment of 50$ you can get the Memory Wand, perfect for recreating that one celebrity, or a sexy highschool crush you recently rediscovered on Binstafram]

(I’ll change the cover art when I get a chance but I had this one from a while ago so why not.)