Chapters come out on Monday, Wednesday, Friday around 9PM CET

A Slice-of-Life LitRPG that will make you laugh and, hopefully, warm your heart. 

"I have never read anything like this so far, and it's damn fu***** interesting" - Beta reader 1 (the excited one)

"It is very funny and it will climb the ranking fast" - Beta reader 2 (the one with few words)

"A good balance between satire and drama with a touch of action to keep the plot moving" - Beta reader 3 (the fair one)

Synopsis: 

Why does everyone think that you have to become a hero if you get a supreme relic? TO HELL WITH THAT. I'm getting none of that adventuring bull. What do you say? Ranks? Tiers? Bronze, Silver, and Gold adventuring teams? Sure, keep it. It’s all yours.

I'll be opening a lovely pastry shop and using Fireballs to cook creme brulée, for your information. And, oh, that’s so interesting, teleporting, you say? Yeah, sure, I'll teleport a cup of coffee on my nightstand in the morning, thank-you-very-much!

Stop bothering me with your quests, legendary adventures, and all that nonsense! You either buy some pastry, or I’m going to report you to the watch for loitering!

So, do you want to know what I’m going to do in this fantasy world?

Well, I’m going to get a girlfriend, that’s what I’m going to do!

No Pizzas Were Harmed in the Making of This Novel.