Bored, I browsed my spam folder. I clicked on some interesting spam, summoning me to another world. All I have is this dagger: 

[Dagger]

Broad leaf blade made by a dwarf blacksmith while drinking. Hilt slapped on by an elf high on shrooms. The handle is pleasantly smooth, which makes for a terrible gripping experience. Upgradeable, if you upgrade it. 

Has a chance of killing something if you stab said something in the right place.

Fully editable Google Doc for the whole story.