

I Have to Text my Ex, or the World Explodes Romance Comedy Adventure Virtual Reality Supernatural Slice of Life
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Author:Daniel Newwyn
Type:Male
Do you have an anus? If you do, here's a great little nonsensical story for you to turn off your brain and read while you're stuck in the toilet with nothing to do. Here's the premise of my new story:
Andrew Garage thought he was the Chosen One.
Stuck in a time loop that reset whenever a meteor crashed to Earth, he was determined to save mankind and get himself out of the loop. On his seventh try, he finally eliminated the catastrophic meteorite with an Antimatter Gun.
However, a self-proclaimed Goddess suddenly appeared and sent Andrew back into the loop again because he saved the world 'the wrong way'. As Andrew bitterly scavenged for solutions, he found out that the reason the meteor kept crashing into Earth because. . . he kept ignoring his exes' texts.
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Chapter Selections
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{{#chapters}}
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Chapter {{idx}} {{name}}
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Chapter 1 1. Let's win the lottery so I can build a lab
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Chapter 2 2. What if God descended to Earth, said “it’s pronounced Jod”, and left
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Chapter 3 Just something I want to ask
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Chapter 4 3. So your name is GDragon-Dragon?
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Chapter 5 4. Offer me that deathless death, Good God
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Chapter 6 5. What's wrong with the prose? Nothing, this is just a light novel
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Chapter 7 6. Now you're telling me there will be status screens?
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Chapter 8 7.1. Defund the police
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Chapter 9 7.2. Mr. Brittlesworth's Testimony
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Chapter 10 8. Men can't be depressed! They don't cry
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Chapter 11 9. Canada is a country?
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Chapter 12 10. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go dip my ass in maple syrup
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Chapter 13 11. This isn't Canada. The houses look like they're affordable
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Chapter 14 12. Sorry for f****** your whole extended family
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Chapter 15 13. The whole world caught COVID-19 and died
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Chapter 16 14. Maybe if I mess his life up enough he'll like me
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Chapter 17 15. There's no free will, but you can get a paid will DLC for ONLY $34.99
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Chapter 18 16. And then he died
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Chapter 19 17. Sorry, Sir, but I banged your daughter
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Chapter 20 18. You'll never shat alone
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Chapter 21 I'm BACK
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Chapter 22 19. Always remember she’s your girl, but the y is silent